BH3 #483

BH3 #483
October 19, 2009
Start: Sterling Street
On-In: Angry Wade’s
Hare: Dental Damned
Scribe: Porno Putz

The trail started on Sterling street in Crown Heights where a bunch of white people (and Canine Fixation) huddled on a street corner in lightweight breathable fabrics doesn’t stand out at all. Did anyone else notice the bulletproof glass walls inside the fried chicken joint we were standing in front of? Awesome. But you have no excuse not to notice. We stood there for about a half hour before our hare, Dental Damned showed. And without any chalk.

This was one of those trails where you were better off sticking with the pack because if there were 6 of you and everyone spread out maybe you would get lucky and someone would spot one of the cute little pink arrows. And, as you know, safety in numbers. If you don’t know where you are, Melanie taught us that the Tour de Brooklyn shirts can also be used as a map.

After approximately 7 km, so I heard, we arrived at Angry Wade’s in Carroll Gardens for quite a memorable on-in. If I were Wade, I would probably be angry that every fucking tv in my bar was playing sports. Angry Wade’s supplied us with fritos, cheetos, dorritos, hot dogs with all the fixins, (Which reminds me of a hilarious story. Canine Fixation discovered the lid to the Queso was all moldy and started showing it off to everyone who ate from it. When Death Breast saw it she yells, “Oh my god! Is that Jesus?!?”) some amazing popcorn, and a table for water and beer that we soon discovered (Really Death Breast? Jesus?) was a piano. More on that later. Oh, and beer.

Here are the down downs as transcribed word for word from Headlights’ notes..

Hare: Dental Damned Hymn to the Hare

Visitors/Virgins: Here’s to…

Dental Damned: Shitty Trail

Dogface: trail master 🙁

Smashmouth (DF)- Mayo on his hot dog

Melissa- Getting injured on 1st hash

Canine Fixation- Thai Restaurant Pee Break

Melanie- No onions, didn’t want to offend

Sorry, What & Splat- DFL

Headlights- Showing up late w/ chalk

Eva- false acqusation (I can’t spell)
to Canine Fixation.


Then things really got out of hand. Someone discovered that the table covered in bags and empty cups of water and beer was actually a piano.

Here is an incomplete hash sing-along setlist with notations.

New York State of Mind- Billy Joel
Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond
Twist and Shout- Originally recorded by the Top Notes but really, who cares?
Brown Eyed Girl- Van Morrison
(Somewhere in here Headlights teared up a bit because we were having a hash sing-along. Probably the first ever.)
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay- Otis Redding
Hey Jude- The Beatles
Rocket Man- Elton John
Imagine- John Lennon
Take Me Home, Country Roads- John Denver
Let It Be- The Beatles (I over heard someone say, “Oh I know this song!” Really?)

At this point Rob, our piano player asks, “Do you guys know Wonderwall?” The hash cash instantly runs out, and I run for the door, but not before I catch some of Unchained Melody, who I’m going to credit to U2 even though it came up second in the google search.

On Out,
Porno Putz