NYCH3 # 1327
July 8th, 2009
Start: Columbus Circle: Merchants Gate park entrance
On-In: Blarney Stone
Hare: Wet Connection
So, I guess the idea of starting at the entrance to Central Park got some half-assed hashers to make an appearance for the first time in weeks because there was quite the crew clogging up Columbus Circle by the start of the run. More runners than tourists? It just might have been a fact. Or it might not have but this is my write-up so what I say goes. There were a lot of us and a lot of really confused out-of-towners wishing we’d stop blocking their pictures. The part of the run in the park was hilly as hell, which translates to awesome for some of us. Surprisingly well marked as well until we hit the streets, then it was back to asking pedestrians if they saw any runners pass them yelling random crap. Turns out they tend to just stare at you no matter what neighborhood you’re in. Apparently there was supposed to be a split for the eagles and the… slower birds but the consensus was that the trail setter was full of shit. Or we went the wrong way. But at least we didn’t take a 16 block shortcut like Mickey Mouse and Rich! You’re only cheating yourselves you lushes.
As much as I’d love to say that the trail was complete crap and that the homeless Rod Stewart song-singing blind man with the cane in the subways could have done infinitely better, it was a great course and overall marked better than many of the recent past Manhattan hashes. The run along the water on the west side was an excellent touch, and any observant female must give thanks for the trail taking us past the softball fields full of strapping young men. I tripped over myself staring and explained to a Virgin that yes, this happens every Wednesday. The running not the tripping. I don’t even know if he meant to run with us, pretty sure he jumped in at some point after the start because he had no idea what was going on but was near Sean and I for most of the run. I think he was successfully recruited. Quite a few runners played in traffic but then again that’s every week. Running down 9th was a massive clusterfuck so some of us yelled louder on purpose either to move people or just annoy them.
Once at the On-In, the circle held the usual chaos and out of tune singing. Mickey Mouth was giving away free shirts so she got a free drink. We had a special guest, the originator of the New York City hash aka Kanaga. Eager for Beaver made a bet with Trips and Balls about whether or not he was actually the real guy or if he was just pulled in off the street. The virgins were the cute asian girl, the quiet yet cute white guy, and that tricky bitch Robin that spent the last few hashes ducking out of her virgin drink. Mario got a down down for his unbelievable putrescence at the end of the run, hopefully it inspired him to hit up the deodorant isle for all of our sakes. Mickey Mouth and Rich got a down down for their 16 block shortcut and on the opposite end of the spectrum Kinky Boots got the “good citizen of the week” for helping a lost virgin, or was it for becoming an American citizen? Most of us were on our way to drunk by that late in the songs. The visitors were greeted with their own hash song but again, we don’t remember which ones they were because we drink too much. Asshole of the week went to the old British guy (Editor’s note: DBB aka Smashmouth), we think because he might have hit a wheelchair. With someone in it. So he had a refreshing plunger of beer and took it down like a champ. And then… we were drunk. And the wings were fantastic.