May 2, 2009
NYCH3 AGM #1317
Hares: Outgoing and esteemed JMs Lauren and Eager for Beaver
On-In: Antarctica (
The most pressing questions of the day: Would Joe Pennsylvania continue to amuse us with his wit via email? Will Hotrod still be cursed to carry the colossal bag o’haberdashery to whatever bars will have us? Would Lauren and E4B continue their reign of terror? How much pizza would there be?
Anyways, back to the trail. The hares arrived at the start and promised a drink check (yes!) and the trail wasn’t too long (yay?). They sent the braying pack on its way to meander throughout Flatiron,
This being the AGM, there were down-downs and awards to be distributed.
Virgins: Sadly, today we were without
Visitors: Included the permavisitors Booty Call and Super Teflon Dong, but my notes get hazy on the subject (see above, lots and lots of beer).
Couple of the year: Splat! and Super Teflon Dong. Just picture it.
Worst Trail of the Year: Went to Junky Monkey and E4B for a rainy monstrosity of a trail ending at Boss Tweeds which was full of Zog sports kickballers.
Asshole of the Year: So there’s a side story to this. The Committee couldn’t locate the cherished golden toilet seat, and thus were kind enough to make another for the AOTY to cherish and display for their friends and family. And Splat! kindly volunteers that he has been hoarding the precious golden loo seat, resulting in two toilet seats of glory. So Splat got a down-down for hiding said object of importance. The “new” golden toilet seat went to E4B because he took it off of his toilet at home which he’s been using for God knows how long, spray painted it, and was prepared to make someone else where it around their neck. The “old” one that Splat! had been hiding went to the real Asshole of the Year… Joey Pennsylvania for regaling us with emails about chicks, nudity, and sports statistics all year long.
The New Committee: Eager for Beaver is no longer a JM. I’ll let that sink in for a moment.
Lauren maintained her JM-manship, and Fire In The Piehole takes the reins. Tit-Totaller is now serving as the religious advisor, but with FITP’s ambitious travel schedule, I’m sure we’ll see her running the circle now and again. Other committee members were announced as well: Hotrod, Dan (the bald one), Blackout, Eager for Beaver, Noah’s Dingy, Junky Monkey, Splat!, Dogface, and yours truly. Respective titles are available on the website.
Much pizza, fajitas, and beer was consumed, and I can only assume that a few people watched as Mine That Bird overcame his 50:1 odds to win the Kentucky Derby.
I soon found out that On-Sex has nothing to do with sex, and is in fact, not sexy at all. I’ll somehow work through the pain.