BH3 #279

Brooklyn Hash House Harriers

July 21, 2003

Run #279

On In: Sparky’s

Hare: Mean Jean, THE Down Down Machine

A Geographic Tour or How to Sacrifice Virgins On a Hill

Scribe: The Saint


Now it has been a long time since your Scribe has settled down to his laptop mostly aloft to scratch out a few words of remembrance from these fortnightly jaunts and we applaud dear readers your collective patience (although some individuals have groused) especially as New Yorkers are NOT known for this virtue.  Ahhh but you say, “We’re from Brooklyn” and indeed that must make all the difference.  Those from the city’s largest, most populous borough are more fair, creative, intelligent, have better skin and on occasion a better sex life than those from the heart of the Big Apple.  No words are of course, necessary to be uttered about the louts from Queens who are lucky that Hiz Honor has not sold off the property or, at minimum placed an additional tax (a fine would be fine) on any sports team with a record moving closer to .300.  I am not sure anyone realizes that the aforementioned semi-pro team is paying approximately $1,735M per win, which is only a hare, less than the Yankees who at least win more than twice as often


The usual suspects showed up for a wee bit of run knowing that MJtDDM was haring across the river.  Perhaps that is what attracted the hat-trick, aka a covey, of virgins to emerge from the subway although this writer has it on good account from well-informed, trusted sources that it was not a plot to have more virgins than those of us who are Brooklyn-experienced in a sort of takeover.  The three young lasses Melissa, Mary Beth and Kim provided just the right touch and balance to our group.  One of them claimed to have run a hash or two before maybe even in Manhattan but soon after tore a knee ligament – they were unrelated or so she thought – and serendipitously decided on this muggy Monday to have a go again.  Luckily she made to the On In but more on that below.


Speaking of louts, Crofty was noticeably absent with a rumor of a cold but likely he was off to Shea for some serious abuse.  At least the chocolate is better in Queens but fuggetabout the sex.


Now that your Scribe is back on the job, he has resolved to provide more detail as to the run itself.  The wonder of running in Brooklyn is that he has no idea generally where the hell he is except for a wee understanding of the subway system from which we all emerge.  Many competitive scribes like those across the river provide layer upon layer of run details.  I don’t know about many of you but I am following a trail with my eyes, ears (people do call out occasionally), arms, legs, heart, etc.  You get the picture.  Plus as a Texan this is all foreign territory.  Why I could run along the Pedernales or Guadaloupe and have a better idea where I am.  In Manhattan, since most of us can count we know where we are, but Brooklyn?!


OK so here goes run #279 was a round the borough affair: Cobble Hill -Brooklyn Heights-Red Hook-Cobble Hill.


As for the On In, the beer was warm and limited although they did have a nice bucket for English Andrew nailed next to the door so he could feed.  (Ultimately some colder Rolling Rock was found but it is NOT a favorite of mine).  Downs Donws were given to MJtDDM for setting a rather nice trail, just long and hilly enough.  The aforementioned virgins of course participated although one of them lost, regained, lost and I am not sure how she found the On In.  Mr. Former Asshole of the Year was trying very hard to make headway with one of the three and discretion and the $50 he slipped me will not allow me to say which one.  I have no doubt he was not successful



Unbiased, Vociferous On In Ratings*

On In: Sparky’s

July 21, 2003


                                    EWA                                                               The Saint


Ambience                       3                                                                           2

Beer Selection                1 (No Stella!)                                                        1

Beer Pricing                  3                                                                             2

Local Color                    3                                                                           3

Smoke                           1 (None!)                                                              5

Food                              3 (Too many cards!)                                              4

Totals                          2.333                                                                    2.8333



*Categories are self-explanatory unless you’re dim.  Ratings are the sole province of the writer and if you don’t agree, you don’t agree.




On Out!


The Saint