NYCH3: #1184
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Start: 77th Street & Lexington Avenue
Hares: Sarah Down Under & Manslave
On-In: American Spirits
Scribe: Pussyfoot

Let’s see.  How does this go again?  Scribing a hash r*n is a little like going to confession.  You keep on putting it off until it cannot be avoided and then once you finally give in to the call of duty, it starts relatively easy.

Bless me, fellow hashers.  It’s been many years since I last wrote up a hash r*n…  I have no sins myself to confess; only those of my acquaintances.  Ahem, that’s where the problems start.  No priest will ever accept hearing the confession of others’ sins – except, of course, when those sins are of the more salacious kind.

So allow me to put these sins into context.  The last Sunday before Halloween was a bright and chilly day.  A fair-sized pack gathered at the start location, their numbers swelled by those FRB’s trying to get a last long training r*n in before the NY Marathon.  The proximity to Halloween party r*n on the following Tuesday must have confused at least one of our stalwarts.  Loretta (does this lady not have a hash handle yet?) came to protest global warming, dressed highly inappropriately in a swimsuit, swim cap and goggles.  As protection from the chilly conditions – yes, at the time of writing, chilly conditions seem a distant memory with the recent heat wave, but the weather forecasters are promising a return – Loretta wore a plastic see-through mac.  The sight of Loretta in this outfit caused much sinning – though mostly in this scribe’s imagination.

After the usual palaver of explaining the marks to the visitors and virgins, the hares set us off in the direction of the first check.  An FRB Englishman quietly confided to me that the trail was over by the East River as he had seen marks in that vicinity earlier in the day.  Regrettably, I forgot to mention this to the MC afterwards and this blatant sin of pre-checking went unpunished.

Thereafter, the trail became a blur.  Yes, first we went to the East, then South and soon we were heading (ok I said “Head”, but please no chants of “Head! Who said Head? I’ll have some of that.” if you don’t mind – this is a family-oriented publication) back West.  How can you set a trail on the UES and avoid hitting Central Park?  This trail was no exception.  So we trotted past the usual landmarks (note to self: you really should learn what these landmarks are called someday).

I’m skipping ahead of myself.  Before entering the Park, the pack was challenged by a rather obvious check.  Obvious in that we were going into the park, but not obvious for a pair of hashers who ran straight up 5th Avenue, found trail, thereby short-cutting the entire Central Park loop.  Normally, short-cutting is an honourable activity and should be encouraged, but in this case the two SCB’s happened to be two of our worst FRB’s and the combination of short-cutting and fast running just is not acceptable.

Leaving Central Park, the trail zigged and zagged back East and to the North.  Some of the pack recognised where we were heading and pushed on for home, though the trail took us on a slight loop to the borders with Harlem before ending up at 2nd Avenue and 91st Street – home of American Spirit.

This was my first visit to this establishment, though others in NYCH3 indicated that they had been there before.  An interesting location especially given the behaviour of the previous night’s barkeep!  Apparently, the guy forgot to go home and having consumed an unknown quantity of the house’s specials, decided – in the time-honoured tradition of all drunks across the globe – to drink himself sober.  It never works, but no harm for trying.  Anyway, as the guy is, was and probably never will be a hasher, I will refrain from recounting any more of his misdeeds.

If memory serves me correctly, our MC’s for the day were Mean Jean and Kyle.  My notes on who got what and why are a little sketchy, but here are the highlights:

  • The hares were first rewarded for setting a good trail and then punished for recycling the on in.
  • Visitors and Virgins were welcomed with a refreshing draft, but who they were regrettably was not noted and so they will remain anonymous for ever more.
  • Loretta was saluted for her global warming protest.
  • Fast American Dave, having suffered the indignity of being attacked on trail by a poodle, had his wounded pride balmed with the warm glow that can only be achieved by doing a down down.
  • Cree and Jonathon (lacking hash handles again?) were roundly boo’ed for short-cutting at Central Park.
  • Your scribe was unfairly picked upon for wearing a T-shirt from a road race held earlier in the day.  I assure you I am not a racist.

    Well, that’s it.  That’s all I can remember and rather than recount that disgustingly funny joke I heard last night, I’ll end right here.

    ON ON

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