Date: November 6, 2005
Start: 96th and 5th Avenue
Hares: Dr. Steve, Speedy Gary and Jonathan-the-Taller
On-in: The Back Page
NYC MARATHON 2005
At the Start:
26.2 miles for the r*nners. Approximately 26.2 cases of beer for the NYCH3 . Thats how it started. The weather was balmy and we got bombed.
Two hashes in two weeks, two write-ups and the fact that Im writing this six weeks after the Marathon means a lot of holes. A$$HOLES.
Thank God for Mary, who has helped to fill in a few:
The trail started north of 96th street and headed left into the park where I quickly lost the trail as it was headed West due to two rather obscure arrows, one pointed due west over a large pile of rocks and one a little to the south along the path. I followed both at different times and managed to not find any others. Then I followed them again. Hmm, still no arrows. Perhaps the falling leaves had covered the trail? Maybe it was the green chalk . . . .
Anyway, I finally found the trail with help from Glenda (the good witch) and we ran across the soccer field while small children were kicking soccer balls at us. There was lots of running around in circles and back just a few highlights in the park were running by the tennis courts and the reservoir run which involved maybe cup of flour total. Just when you thought "I must have missed a mark, I should turn back" there it was… Perhaps Dr. Steve was baking the night before and used up all his flour. We ran out of the park and headed east, stopping for a few moments to cheer on the front wheelchair competitors. Across the east side we went, thru a few alleyways or parking garages and across a playground. At some point we headed west then doubled back east and straight over 1st avenue, straight on to the river we went.
And each time we thought the trail was headed away from the river, it turned back and ran there again. I have to say the parks alongside the east river are quite pretty at this time of year. I think we may have run through all of them, so, it was like a nice foliage tour of the east side of Manhattan. Each little tour led back to the East river until finally the trail continued forever up the east river to 96th street and west to the corner of 96th and 1st where Dr. Steve was waiting with Dunkin donuts coffee spiked with Baileys or perhaps whiskey?
Upon arriving, the front female runners came jogging by in a cluster and then I can only assume the men came by there at some point but I headed back along 96th to the start.
Hmmmmm. Bunch a people showed up. Bunch a cops ignored our blatant drinking. Bunch of hashers r*n by (Fast Am. Dave #6, Dave Hardy w/ Achilles r*nner, Monica, Jumpin Jacks Gash, Beau(?), Carla, MasterCard, Carla, Kerry, Fairy Queen, Flaccido Domingo, Mufaletta, Visitors, Patrick and others).
Strip-and-go-Naked was mixed, and mixed and re-mixed until HUA declared it drinkable. Then it was drunk. So we were. Bagels distributed cream cheese forgotten and then bought and then replenished. Note: Bagels lasted longer this year because Booty Call wasnt there. So did the beer. Spectators a many, but I cant remember them all now.
At the Back Page:
The usual slop and the usual down-downs:
The Hares. Billed as Speedy Gary and Dr. Steve. Surprise that Gary was no where to be seen and truth was told that it was, in fact Jonathan the Taller that set rail. A second down-down for the mighty hares for their unmanly mistake of crossing the Dogs Bollocks trail the day before.
Non-marathon visitors and Virgins. It would have been nice if someone had taken notes on this, but my dim recollection is that there was maybe one virgin.
Basia was called up for unhashlike behaviour. Apparently, at the spiked coffee check on 96th and First Avenue, Basia inquired whether there was any unspiked coffee. Nuff said.
DBB got the Old Fart Award for ceremonioulsy distributing a write up of the marathon hash 10 years ago (presumably written by himself) to several preferred hashers during the race.
HUA for being somewhat vision impaired (you guess why) and mistaking a r*nners name on his shirt (for some reason it said Nomads) and shouting out Go Gonads!
MasterCard for typical MasterCard behavior. The first being that she was late to her own down-down. The actual offense was showing up at the marathon start totally unprepared and having to have Flaccido Domingo help dress her.
Next was the third annual Peter Trunfio honorary Asshole of the Week Award. The first year, of course went to Peter for yelling at a r*nner that he could beat an Achilles r*nner in a wheel chair. I believe his exact words were:Common. You can beat that cripple! Last years award, actually sealing his fate for AOTY, went to Booty Call for repeatedly shouting to the marathoners at mile 23 Its OK to quit!. That left this years award for Sideshow Bob. Echoing Peters words from two years ago, after a wheelchair contestant went by, he muttered: Common. Now get off your ass!
As the rest of the r*nners rolled (or gimped) in, there was a second round of down-downs. But, yours truly was seeing triple, took no notes and has to take herself home to watch Rome. That being said, there was a note from DBB . . . something about a huge water bug (the polite term for a roach crawling up Scot Gleasons leg) at the on-in.
Somebody else do this next year OK?