The Future Of The
New York City Hash Is
Between My Breasts!
— Mean Jean The Down Down Machine, on
the occasion of her most recent birthday.
Seriously, could you ask for a better lead than that? As she said it, Jean pulled a wad of bills from between her ta-tas and Lemon Drops were had by the few, the proud, and the alcoholic still standing. Happy Birthday Mean Jean The Down Down Machine.
Of course it wasnt only her birthday, it was HUAs as well, but we were spared anything being pulled out of his, oh never mind. After, a few drinks at Flannerys , Jean and Jason assembled the lot of us on the curb outside the bar, gave out the usual 411, and informed us it would be a wretchedly boring trail. Seeing as they had gone through all the trouble of creating a full color flyer promoting the event, you would have thought such planning would have gone into the trail as well, but no. We were also promised a drink check manned by none other than Crazy Bob. Off we went.
The trail headed southwest through the Meat Packing District and the West Village, the pack was thoroughly separated somewhere near West 13th St., but thanks to the recently returned Geoff, the bunch I was with found trail around Gansevoort having not seen a mark for at least a half a mile. Geoff was so proud of having found our way (after being razzed by our little pack, particularly yours truly) that he proceeded to give directions to all sorts of people. In order, and I kid you not, he proceeded to tell a non hash runner she was going the wrong way, a curbside diner he was using the wrong fork, and a guy dressed in an Elvis suit to piss off.
Anyway, from there the trail proceeded to the east, on a Tour de Parque, covering Washington Square, Tompkins, and those two little parks near the hospitals on the east side. For good measure we also stopped by the recently refurbished Astor Place cube. Crazy Bob met us in one of the little parks, drink in tow..
Unfortunately, the concoction he had with him was a little terrifying, so some of us didnt stay long. Bob couldnt actually tell us what was in it and while normally this wouldnt be such a bad thing, there were little white things swimming about within and the thing had to be seasoned with cumin, so there was cause for concern. It turned out to be quite good, and the white things were later identified as coconut.
Predictably, the trail ended a few blocks from the drink check where Kendra flashed her fellow FRBs with a pair of green panties. For the record they had a French trim, and a hole in the left cheek. Im not sure what message shes trying to send potential suitors, but you know, on-on.
Eventually, having had a few beers we were called to order by the JM of Brooklyn, The Body. Dave explained to us that according to parliamentary procedure he had to take over and award Mean Jean her down down for haring. Fair enough. Jason got one too and then The Body relinquished his throne and Mean Jean took over and in turn gave beer to
Dakota Our token visitor this fine Sunday, he recently returned from Baghdad where he was marketing tweezers to Iraqi women. Im not sure how that effects my opinion on the war.
Kendra For being an FRB and flashing the pack.
The Saint So, I get to the corner of St. Marks and 2nd and Bruce is hopping up and down in those ridiculous shorts and cursing up a storm. He looked like Foghorn Leghorn pogoing at a punk rock show, circa 1979 and he was mad at a car for not hitting him.
Patti For audacity and temerity. We will not speak of the exact incident any further.
Herr MasterCard Someone, I think Jean, but maybe Cockstar, ran into her HS German teacher somewhere. According to the teach, MasterCard was late for nearly everything back then too.
Ken In another example of how this hash has recently changed its ways when it comes to naming, Ken was named Assglider. Incidentally, he found this name to be somewhat uncreative. He has been warned by yours truly about the dangers of shouting ones mouth off about hash names.
Ewa AOTW was awarded to Eva for breaking Ed Lunchs balls, eh balloon.
Audrey A bit after the circle, her engagement was announced, and a song was sung. Mazel Tov.