NYCH3 #1104

NYCH3 #1104

Date: Wednesday May 4th, 2005

Start & Pre-lube: Flannery’s Pub, 14th St & Seventh Ave

Hares: Mean Jean and her flunky/absent sidekick JM Jumpin’ Jack Gash

On-in: Flannery’s Pub (yes kids, an A-to-A!)

Scribe: Flaccido Domingo

 

“The Bad News Hashers in Breaking Training”

Roster

 

Mean Jean (Hare)

Kerry

Booty Call

Sadie

Karen Z.

Dave

Charlotte

Oh Shit

BJ Boy

Slip ‘n Slide

Chad & Drew

Cockstar

Geoff

Alice

Long Winded

  Hash Hole

HUA

Pearl Necklace

Wet Connection

Dumb Dick

Smashmouth

Mickey Mouth

Doug

Dr. Steve

Mike Bahamamonde

Leo

Diego

Anthony

Tomas

Mark

Kindergarten Kim

Steve (sans Eva)

Humper

Dave Too Long

Pamela

Bottom

Ookie Cookie

Jean’s cousin

Scott

Cider Man

Devo

Steve

Fluffy

Leslie & Peter

John Burke

Erica

Finger Linkin’ Good

Jim Leary

Lizzie

Flaccido Domingo

et al.

 

 

May 5th, 2005

 

Dear Lupus,

 

We had our first NYC summer hash of the year yesterday.  It was fun but I’m not feeling so good today.  Luckily for us our new JM Mean Jean regularly worships at the Church of Latter Day Short Trails.  You know, the one that excommunicated Devo and Fast American Dave a while back?  Yeah, that one.

 

Anyways, it was an A-to-A that started and ended at Flannery’s.  They didn’t even try to hide the fact by making us put our bags on the curb.  Is that lazy or what?  Well, off we went heading west, then north, then east, then south, then west, then north and back to Flannery’s.  You get the idea.  We saw parking garages, locked gates, Madison Square Park (no turbans this time though), Union Square, etc.  At least that’s how I did it.  Mickey Mouth, the consummate short-cutter that she is, immediately set out west and saw Washington Square Park.  I don’t know why she did this, but she did.  I’m sure it was nice there.  Sadie got so lost checking at Madison Square Park that she did five laps around the park looking for trail.  Never mind that the check was quickly pack marked heading south.  I guess it proves that men aren’t the only ones who won’t stop to ask for directions.  For some reason she didn’t get a down-down for this.  But she did accept an offer of a “ride home” from Dumb Dick.  Bad karma, hunh?

 

Our new mismanagement made us drink beer when we finished trail.  They’re ok I guess, but I don’t think they are all there in the head if you know what I mean.  But I guess for a group like ours you don’t exactly get resumes from the A-team.  While we were all gathered ‘round the following people got called out for special attention:

 

 

Anyway Lupus, the On-in was lots of fun.  Here’s some of the stuff I remember (somewhat) clearly:

 

When our new JM Mean Jean (and apparently Minister if Misinformation) announced that “Pizza was on its way”, most of the people who had already been busy eating pizza momentarily paused to wonder who’s pizza they were eating.  Thoughts that maybe they shouldn’t be eating pizza yet failed to cross anybody’s mind.

 

It turns out all that email traffic we saw on the list server about lost items of clothing from the AGM came from the haberdashery.  Apparently the new Haberdashers Karen Z. and Stacia took to heart Bottom’s advice to “move the inventory”.  If you want NYC Hash items you’d better get them soon – at this rate it’ll be gone before you know it.

 

Kindergarten Kim meanwhile spent the better part of ten minutes imploring the scribe to not put her in the write-up this week.  Her arguments included 1) she hadn’t kissed Charlotte this week, 2) she hadn’t kissed any other hashers since Saturday, 3) she hadn’t made any comments that night about her various sexual likes or dislikes, and 4) she is in fact a good kisser.  All very valid arguments.  I’m sure the scribe won’t put her in the write-up after hearing all that.

 

Ookie Cookie and Jim Leary are part-time philosophers.  No, its true.  Jim was opining about infidelity and drew a sharp line in the sand between need and desire.  Ok, so it wasn’t quite so sharp.  But he made a good argument that while the term ‘cuckold’ means “a man who is married to an unfaithful wife”, he much prefers the term ‘cock-hold’.  Indeed.  Ookie meanwhile was waxing philosophic on the topic of “all men are a$$holes.”  She too had a good point.

 

Devo the notorious FRB, asked to borrow a pen from the scribe – the one person who actually needed a pen – and then proceeded to keep it as he left the On-in.  If it were up to me, he’d get a down-down for that at the next hash.

 

Anyway, that’s the stuff I remember.  I’m On-outta here…

 

Your friend,

 

     Tanner Boyle


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