NYCH3 #1063, August 4, 2004
HARES: John and Norma
Start: Union Square
On In: Raccoon Lodge
YELLO SMELLO’S BIRTHDAY BASH QUIZ/ VIRGIN HARE MISTAKE COUNTER CHALLENGE
Answer the multiple-choice questions below and add up all of the mistakes the virgin hares made as described in the write-up and hand your answers to the scribe. JM will announce the prize.
1. What did Kara say at lunch at Café des Artistes on her birthday?
A) Everyone should have one of these!
B) Everyone should have one of me!
C) Everyone should be me!
D) Everyone should eat me!
2. How many and what kind of martinis did Cockstar and YS have (combined) at the
Mandarin Oriental Hotel before the pre-lube?
A) 5 Cosmos.
B) Four Appletinis.
C) 2 Mopolitans. 2 Red Apple martinis.
D) Tee Many Martoonis.
E) All of the above.
3. True or false. This run was originally posted as YS’s birthday run.
4. Pick the correct statement about YS’s “youth” (a/k/a younger than she is now).
A) She grew up a poor black child in Queens.
B) She lost her virginity in the back seat of a “Shaggin’ Wagon’”
C) She drafted me during the Fifth Avenue Mile.
D) She completed the NYC Marathon in 4:03.
5. How many beers did YS and Cockstar have (each) at the pre-lube?
D) All of the above.
There was much confusion about this run. First, Kyle permitted two virgin hares (JoHn and Norma) to hare. He denies this, claiming they snuck their names on the list. Then YS was supposed to supervise the virgin hares. Then she didn’t. According to Peter, setting two trails (both wildly successful – especially the on-in parts) does not qualify one as an “experienced” hasher. So, YS did what she does best – bag hag and go straight to the bar.
But before that, a little recap of the manner in which we chose to spend the wondrous day upon which YS was born and why my notes are totally useless for the purposes of this write-up. We started at Café des Artistes for a little ladies’ lunch (had a little wine), then moseyed on to the Mandarin Oriental hotel (see Question # 2 above) and then (after changing into hash civvies) off to the pre-lube (see Question # 5 above). We stumbled upon Cree and Danny, who were in deep conversation about the status of the web site. What web site????
Papi (a/k/a Jim) showed up at Bar 119 as well as Sideshow Bob. I think Rick did too, but took off without engaging in the hash ritual of pre-lubing. At the start, a seriously respectable number of hashers showed up – both new and old. Chalk talk was given, sheet rock passed out and the pack was instructed to leave bags at the subway station entrance on the Southwest corner of the park. The first mark was on the Northeast corner of Union Square.
With four people manning the bags, we set off transporting them from said subway station to the curb (HINT), where we hailed two cabs. By the time we were fully “loaded” (I mean in the cab) it was 7:20. As we were about to take off, a few stragglers managed to toss their bags into the cab. Heather ?Got Wood? graciously decided to wait the extra ten minutes to heard latecomers towards the start on the Northeast corner of the square. (HINT)
In the cab, JoHn could not help himself and told me about how fab the trail was. He claimed it was neither too long nor too short. He thought he had the pack coming in around the same time because he had set a lot of “false” trails. When I asked him to elaborate, he expanded by saying that the falses were clearly marked and did not extend further than half an avenue before they would be found. I know that I had been drinking, but I thought to myself – ummm, but what about the check marks??????
We arrived at the on-in – another Raccoon Lodge – to deposit the bags. Well, errrr, there were still a lot of suits hanging out and the bar was kind on narrow. Hmmmm, I pondered, would we have enough room for 55 sweaty running drunks? As the bags were piled up, the hares took care of the water. The bartender was from the Patriot, so she was familiar with our beer-drinking habits. But water? Not so much. In the back of the room on a table were two pitchers of water with about 20 glasses. Having done the approximate math (we were about 55), I was like – yo! we’re gonna need more glasses. Went to virgin hares and reported situation. Norma peeled out of the bar to get more. JoHn decided to have a beer. Cups arrived momentarily and crisis was solved. Then pack began to dribble in.
BJ Boy (a/k/a Rick) arrived as one of the FRBs. JoHn, anxious to determine whether he had set a good trail, asked how the run was. BJ Boy’s response was: “It was OK. But what was up with those false marks?” JoHn looked perplexed. Norma, in the mean time, was water wench — running frantically back and forth to the bar refilling the water pitchers. JoHn still wanted to know what was wrong with marking a false without a proceeding check. (HINT). JoHn ordered another beer.
When all was said and done, our thirst for both beer and water were quenched and the pack mingled among the suits. The down-downs were few and somewhat obscure. Some of that may be because my notes suck. Or, maybe it’s cause Dave Too Long’s a little rusty (?????):
The virgin hares JoHn and Norma. JoHn, again, for creating new hash mark (false trail with no proceeding check). JoHn, again, for letting Norma be water wench while he drank beer. Visitors and Virgins – too many to name but repeat offender (I mean visitor) Finger Licking Good returned. Finger Licking Good, again, for having Pat Cuff’s hash name. Happy Birthday FU to YS. Cree. For shortcutting. Snider and Coralis for new shoes. AOW went to Mickey Mouth for having made up a story about Doug (Too Many Women Too Little Time) pissing on trail.
VIRGIN HARE MISTAKES (TOTAL) ____.
Whose abs are stronger, Devo’s or Fast American Dave #6/Tripod/Ralph’s?
Please feel fee to punch them in the gut to test your answer.