NYCH3 #1491, Ow! My Balls & Finger Fucked’s 4th Hashiversary

NYCH3 #1491 Start: 14th St & 8th Ave On-In: Raccoon Lodge Hares: Ow! My Balls & Finger Fucked Scribe: Doggie Erectus We gathered at 14th & 8th to r*n the Finger My Balls 4th anniversary trail.  Our hares have a warped sense of humor. They do, however know how to set up an On-In.  So after a minor miscalculation on the length of the trail, we started the festivities and gave out Down-Downs: The Hares: Ow! My Balls & Finger Fucked Visitors: Drama Queen & Just Conrad Virgins: Just Elena, Just Dan, Just Ryan, Just Lindsay & another Just Ryan Just Lindsay & Just Jo: For r*nning with water bottles Just Ian: For not being able to find a bathroom Cheeky Bastard, Devo, Just Chris, Just Ryan & Pimpy Longstocking: For r*nning right past the On-In Fire In The Piehole: For dodging his new shoes Down-Down by leaving early Ow! My Balls & Finger Fucked: A$$holes of the week for telling us trail was 3.8 miles when it was only 2.5 Fast American Dave: For winning the Hash Conelingus: For sexually frustrating Cheeky Bastard and even letting out a mating call 1 Tequila 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Whore, A Little Dirty, CPA & MILF and Cookies: For being unaware of Tequila Day I think the Hares knew it was Tequila Day since they were so inebriated they forgot how long their own trail was. On-Out!...

NYCH3 # 1485

Wednesday June 13,  2012 NYCH3 # 1485 Start : bleecker st bar Hares : Jeter Eater ; Just Matt On – In : killarney rose   We met on nice warm summer Wednesday at bleecker st bar to properly hydrate ourselves before what we expected to be an awesome trail for our weekly hash………boy were we wrong…….. We should have seen the warning signs of what kind of trail awaited us during the chalk talk by our hares, they hinted at very few checks and what they called a trail with shiggy and maybe  a drink check……. So we set off on our quest of finding more beer to quench our thirst and things went wrong very fast…..we came to our first check which was poorly marked, so poorly marked we lost various hashers, one of them who ended up running almost 10 miles in total to find the on in(more on that later), then we came to a second check, which happened to be a circle jerk and our final check…..the hares weren’t kidding when they said the trail had very few checks. And remember the shiggy they promised, we found it along with the possible drink check; but they failed to mention was that we would only encounter people shiggy as we ran through stone street and pearl street, once again trying to find trail; because our hares forgot to mark the on-in. oh and that drink check they vaguely promised, they expected us to by ourselves a beer as we ran by the bars along stone street and pearl street…….   We finally found the on-in...

NYCH3 # 1484

Wednesday June 6, 2012  NYCH3 # 1484  Start 96th & Broadway  On In : Pat Ryan’s   Hare: Devo Wednesday was Devo’s Famous Annual UWS summertime hash.  You can always count on these hashes to deliver a few things – unexpected shiggy, a little uptown hoodness, On-in at Pat Ryan’s, and Devo’s feartfelt farewell to the city and it’s hash.  Yes, despite promising to move far far away at the end of last summer, he’s still kicking around, though he does expect to be gone sometime this year.  So if you missed out, tough shit.  Looks like you’ll have to wait for next summer. Pack started at 96th and Broadway, then headed west into Riverside park.  A check sent those following trail down a hill and through a few games of soccer, volleyball and basketball, while the rest of the pack followed the wide open running trail 10 yards off to the side.  It’s a narrow park is what I’m getting at.  A quick blast through Columbia’s campus and down through the Theological Seminary and Sakura park we found ourselves at the chicken eagle split.  Can’t speak to the chicken, but the eagle involved a lot of slick mud hills, waist high grass, and thorn bushes.  After passing through one of NYC’s remaining shiggy sanctuaries, we got dragged up and down the hills that make up west Manhattan north of 130th, through City College’s campus (pausing briefly to get boned by a back check at the bottom of a long stairwell), and then bombed down Broadway to the finish. In keeping with the chrono-loop theme of the trail, zero new...

NYCH3 # 1483

Wednesday May 30, 2012   NYCH3 # 1483   Hares : Joey P, Hot Rod, Just Nathan On In – No Idea bar   On Wednesday, May 30th at 7:15ish PM, we embraced a little thing called the hash. It was not with a broseph tap on the back or an ass-out hug that we welcomed our drinking and running club, nay… it was a full on bear hug, the kind you give when someone has a pitcher of beer for you. Because we had many pitchers on this glorious day.   Joey P, Hot Rod, and Just Nathan hared a trail that included a NYC-henge worthy drink check involving Shake Shack and various other libations. Fortunately for those who were lactose intolerant, the on-in was just a hop skip, and jump away at No Idea. Hugging and high fives ensued.   We always love a good virgin, and tonight we had plenty! Trevor, Natalia, Lisa, Patrick, and Lauren all good some sweet lovin’ from the hash. And they will get lovin’ again.   Cheeto Shit was a welcomed visitor and we gave him the secret handshake. No hugs for him.   Just Jenn apparently did a pinky swear with her virgin and helped her drink beer, so we gave her another – and she liked it long time.   Just Trevor, ah Just Trevor. He knew not about wearing new shoes, so Pecker Wrecker the stalwart wrecker of wang drank in his steed. Hugging and bonding (bondage?) happened afterwards.   Mean Jean, the Down Down Machine didn’t get enough and wanted props, snaps, and high fives for solving a check...

NYCH3 #1482

TRAILER TRASH / A DEVILSIH NIGHT / HIJINKS ON THE HIGHLINE / VILLAGE FEEBLE / HELLO JELLO A CHOICE ON-IN /  It was a historic night May 23rd, in Manhattan, for the hash. An evening of ‘lasts.’ Change was in the air. The recent cold-spell had given way to pure Spring weather that demanded shorts of everyone. The city’s hockey club hosted the NJ Devils for a playoff contest at MSG. Our story begins ten blocks to the south, at the Trailer Park Lounge on the Northeast corner of 8th avenue and 23rd street.  Some idiot posted on the website that the start was between 7th and 8th, which is technically true but generated hard-feelings in those who regard middle to approximate ‘dead center.’  TPL is a fantastic place for Southerners to wear khakis and their baseball caps in that certain way, and be complete assholes. There’s a bunch of kitsch on the walls and ceilings and the seating  is like 70s retro Holiday Inn.  Hashers marveled at this monument to duplicity and depravity and took mental notes. Then they hit the bricks for the ‘Visitors and Virgins.’ This was a sight to behold, as nearly half in the group of 40+ were first-timers. A few of them were hot, which led to inevitable extra instructions offered by kind Samaritans.   The trail was splendid. The hare declared that marks would be rare, and this proved true. But it was a simple course so that its few checks were quickly solved by the committed frontpackers and the remaining hashers benefited from the resulting pack marks.  The highlight was the running on The High Line. Not once but twice–first, at the northern...
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