KH3 #15

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #15 Wednesday 13 January 2010 Start: 40th Street and Queens Blvd On-In: Irish Rover @ 28th Ave and 38th St Hares: Smashmouth Guest Scribes: Just Rich and Alfred, Lord Tennyson Mickey was absent at this week Knickbocker, so whilst you will no doubt miss the maniacal musings of Mouth you’re stuck with me! I arrived late to the start to be informed by Smashmouth that he’d forgotten to give full instructions to the hash. “Look for a K and a N”, he shouted. “They’ll be questions at the end. Tell the others!” So with this most random of thoughts in my head and joy in my heart I set off in search of a trail and some beer… Miss Mouth had asked me to be inventive with the write up and for some reason I’ve got The Charge of the Light Brigade* by Alfred, Lord Tennyson stuck in my head and can’t think of any original prose.…. Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward, All in the valley of Queens Ran the two dozen "Forward, the Hash! "Charge for the bar!" Smashmouth said: Into the valley of Queens Ran the two dozen. "Forward, the Hash!" Was there a man dismay’d? Not tho’ the hash knew Smashmouth had blunder’d: Their’s not to make reply, Their’s not to reason why, Their’s but to do and die: Into the valley of Queens Ran the two dozen. Bum to right of them, Hobo to left of them, Drunk in front of them Volley’d and thunder’d; Storm’d at with shout and yell, Boldly they ran and well,...

KH3#14 – Experimental Theatre

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #14 Wednesday 30 December 2009 Start: Warren Street and East Broadway On-In: Kelly’s Hares: Wet Willy and Jon the Taller Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Welcome, welcome! To the KH3 Experimental Theatre! I’m Mickey Mouth, your Emcee. Tonight we have open mike night, theme is KH3 #14, so all you talented hashers, come on up and show us your stuff! (Noah’s Dinghy comes out and hands Mouth a piece of paper) Okay! First up, we have Fast American Dave! Give it up!   FAD: (walks on stage, one hand holds a guitar, the other a pint of ale, with a little red straw in it. He sits on the stool, puts the beer down, and adjusts the microphone…) Good evening folks. My name is Fast American Dave and most of you know me as the Front Running Bastard. What you may not have known, is that my true passion, my first love, is singing. Why do you think I run so fast? To get out to where I can let my voice be free and flood over the countryside. Tonight I will be singing about the run…here it goes…it’s a ballad…hope you enjoy it…   Way down south on Warren, they huddled against the cold. Only Fireman Tim and the Pie Hole were that bold. Oh…testicles of steel. The hares they set us off, 69down to Mean Jean, Let’s run hand in hand, this way the path will be seen. Oh…it was a deal. I forgot, that at the start, a homeless man took the mike. He tried to get our money, then he tried for...

KH3#13 Live From NY!

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #13 Wednesday 16 December 2009 Start: Knickerbocker Club 62nd and 5th On-In: P&G Bar Hare: Just Rich and Just Liz Scribe: Mickey Mouth     Just Rich bellows to the pack huddled against the blustery snow storm, “I cannot tell you! How important this expedition is! If you succeed! You will help all those that come after you! The way will be hard! But remain strong! Have faith!” He turns towards the ToS Four, clad in short trousers, FAD, Eager4Beaver, Wet Willy and Fire in the Pie Hole, “Testicles of Steel! You know your mission! Do not be daunted by those who put on jeans and buffs! Be stout! Even in the face of peacoats! ONON!” The pack beleaguers forward. “Good Luck!” yells Just Rich. “good luck,” he whispers to himself. Just Rich turns to the ones left behind, they have dug deeper into their parkas. “Just Liz! Take Ow My Balls and get to base! Mickey Mouth and I will follow!” Just Liz and Ow My Balls grab a tauntaun and take off. The storm rises up! Wind! Ice! Just Rich yells, “Mouth! Find a tauntaun! We have to get out of here now!” Mickey searches, scrambles, tries to glimpse the reins of a free tauntaun. Success! Mouth hollers to Just Rich, “I’ve got one! Come quick!” Just Rich clambers over and mounts the tauntaun. Mouth throws the bags on, but the snow is falling too fast! Ice is forming quickly around her. “Just Rich! Leave! Go on without me! For the good of the hash!” Just Rich, barely keeping the tauntaun under control...

KH3 #12

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers Trail #12 on 12/2/09 Ever been to Ireland? It rains a little every day. It’s not a hard or unpleasant rain. Eventually you get used to it. We had such a magical rain last night at the Knickerbocker Hash. It was 53 F and moist. So, I began the hash thinking of Manhattan Island’s kissing cousin to the east. As luck would have it there was an Irish bar at the end. We met at Church and Chambers Streets. I counted 32 Knickerbocker hashers celebrating our twelfth run. I was meticulous in recording these names because I have a theory: I believe that most of you vain bastards will not read the write up unless you are personally mentioned. Present: Basia Doggie Erectus Eric Ewa Fast American Dave (aka Generic Dave #6, I believe) Finger Me First Fire-In-The-Piehole Hard Man Hot Rod I-Feel Tower Jeremy Junky Monkey Kelly Kinky Boots Liz Mary the Greek (aka Chic Kabob in Scotland) Mastercard New York Cock Exchange Noah’s Dinghy Pennsylvania Joe Peter Pussy In Boots Richard the Brit Robin Stewa Tit Totaler Trader Blows Yankit US Marine Whore Wendy Wet Connection & cute blonde in orange hat (Ed: Pamela) I called the rain magical because it saved us on a couple of occasions. Our hare, Yankit, set a very tight trail. By that I mean he used a pretty small piece of real estate to create a twisting, turning, rabbit warren of a trail. So much so that it seemed inevitable that we’d cross trail. We did. Twice. But the rain had a cleansing effect on the marks...

KH3#10 – Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me the OnIn!

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #10 Wednesday 4 November 2009 Start: 15th and Irving On-In: Bull’s Head Tavern Hare: Rack n’ Rollher and Barf-Fly Scribe: Mickey Mouth    From KH3 and New York City this is, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me the OnIn! The KH3 write up. I’m Wet Connection and here’s your host, Mickey Mouth (the crowd roars!)   “Thank you WC, thanks everybody! We got a great write up for you today. We’ll be talking about the trail (what trail?!) and the on-in as well as the hilarious antics that flowed that night, like BudLite Lyme through Trips&Balls. So give us a call 1-800-HashNYC. It’s time to welcome our first listener-contestant. Hi, you’re on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me the OnIn.” “Hi Mouth, I’m Offensive Discharge from Denver Colorado.” “Hey, Off Disc, how are you? So what do you do there in Denver?” “Right now, I am contemplating shoveling the 5ft of snow that just fell.” “A real snow-job, huh, Off Disc. Wait, I need to go powder my nose” (crowd roars!) “Mouth, we are not amused.” “Well, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel. She can be seen often on the Annandale making sure no one else gets on. Or cooking up delicious feasts. It’s Ms. Mean Jean the DownDown Machine!” (applause!) “Hello OffDisc, we miss you!” “Hey Mean Jean!” “Also say hello to one super function of a man, he can be seen excelling in road races and making babies, spread the sheets for Just Rich! (applause!) “Hello Just Rich!” “Cheers OffDisc!” “And finally a man who stole the heart of USMarine...