KH3 #26 – Fresh Hare!

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #26 Wednesday 24 November 2010 Start: Patriot’s Bar On-In: Milano’s Bar Hares: Fluffy and Headlights Scribe: Mickey Mouth   Brought to you by NYC hashes, this is Fresh Hare! I’m your host, Mickey Mouth, sitting in for Terry Gross. Start film clip: We gots some real muffinheads on the hash because more than once I heard the question ‘Where is the Beer?’ It’s at the bar people! The bar!!” shouts Noah’s Dinghy. “Or, come over here cause I’m pissing beer!” gibes Headlights. “Did you come from heaven?” whispers Just Matt with lusty reverence. Film clip end Today, listeners, I am uniquely honored to be interviewing Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers. That was a clip from his latest movie, “Orphan’s Run.” Yes, The KH3. Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers, welcome to Fresh Hare.” “Thank you Mouth, this is an honor for me. I am a big fan of yours.” Audibly blushing, “Thank you so much. You are known, like many great actors, by your full name, Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers. How would you like me to address you?” “Well, Mouth, you can undress me any way you..oh wait, you mean ADdress. Sure, just call me Knick.” “Haha, great. Knick, how to did start your career? How did you begin?” “Mouth, just three years ago, I was born out of great minds – Wet Connection, Mean Jean the Down Down Machine and Noah’s Dinghy. Did you know that Athena was born from Zeus’ brain?” “Yes, I did. But he was trying to hide the fact that he cheated on Hera once again…Ok, um, three human years but you are...

KH3 #25 – Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me The On-in (2)

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #25 Wednesday 10 November 2010 Start: Merchant’s Gate – Columbus Circle On-In: Dublin House Hares: Crawl-a-holic and Just Peter T. Scribe: Mickey Mouth   From KH3 and New York City, this is, Wait Wait Don’t Tell me the On In! The KH3 write up. I’m Wet Connection and here’s your host, Mickeeeeeeyyyyyyy Mouth (the crowd ROARS!!)   “Thank you WC, and thanks everybody. We had such a fantastic time here last year, we thought, what the heckaroo, let’s do it again! We got a great write up for you today. We’ll be talking about the trail, the on-in, the foibles and peccadilloes and hilarity that ensued. So give us a call at 212-HASHNYC. It’s time to welcome our first listener-contestant.” “Hi Mouth, I’m Yank It from NYC.” “Yank It, Welcome. You sound British.” “Indeed. You have quite an ear for the obvious.” “Don’t the British have a dry sense of humor? ” “Actually, Mouth, we use pounds and pence…” Silence. The crowd ROARS! “Oh, so we are going to get Riel are we!?  (some of the audience chuckles). That’s Riel folks, R-I-E-L. (audience bursts out lauging!). Ok, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel. You don’t want to be on her bad side when she’s in a ‘don’t draw me any sunflowers’ mood…and she can be seen with the UPSmen doing What can Brown does…it’s Mean Jean the Down Down Machine!!” (Applause!)  “Also say hello to our Man in the Sheets…spread sheets that is. And there is living proof of that. Say hello to Just Rich!” (Applause!) “And finally, to man...

KH3 23 In 1980

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #24 Wednesday 27 October 2010 Start: The Cube at Astor Place On-In: Plug Uglies Hares: Just Peter Scribe: Mickey Mouth   In 2010, Just Peter turned 30 and hared the Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #24. In 1980, Just Peter was shoved out of his mother’s womb. Also kicked out of the womb in 1980 were Mccauley Caulkin, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Gosling, Christina Ricci, Alicia Keys and a host of other people that I also have no idea about. Sometimes the hash is filled with people I don’t know, but not so much the KH3. In 1980, on the island of Vanuatu, John Frum’s cargo cult declared secession as the nation of Tafea. Just as lost and crazy as that sounds, was Mean Jean’s face when she walked up to the hash. Her thoughts? please please please please please let there be people I know here please please please.   In 1980, Richard Pryor was badly burned trying to freebase cocaine. Just like Mr. Pryor, Peter’s trail went up in smoke. There was rain, but this young man was adamant – I only use chalk!! He stomped and sputtered. Ah, youth and their folly. But a good hasher stepped up in his cape and large P on his chest and proclaimed! “never fear! Penn Joe is here!” and set a live-ish trail. In 1980, Rosie Ruiz won the Boston Marathon, only to be exposed as a fraud and stripped of her award. The On-in was Plug Uglies. Plug Uglies is not a New York gang as is popularly thought, but a Baltimore gang in the mid-1800’s....

KH3#19 – It Was Good

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #19 Wednesday 10 March 2010 Start: 110th and 7th On-In: Bar East Hares: Fire In The PieHole, Tit-Totaller, with special guest 69Down Scribe: Mickey Mouth When a hash is good – good hares, good run, good on-in, good food – when a hash is just all around good, there is really nothing to write about. Good doesn’t make a story. Luckily, I am still not at the age, to paraphrase Mr. Clemens, where I can’t remember stuff that didn’t happen. The Briss Trail As you all should know too clearly, I am a completely useless individual, being that my hamstrings are more fucked than Wanchai in the ‘40s. So I found out where the on in was and made a calculating decision not to trudge half way around the world – otherwise known as the UWS – and instead met the hares for bag duties at the bar. And I did, 69down and Fire in the PieHole showed up right on time and we lugged the 30 or so bags into Bar East. We Will Need Something To Protect Us! Do You Have a Knife? I Have a Spoon. The ******* trickled in and skipped over the water that I held it close, afraid that if I let it go, it would turn to beer. Because you see, I attempted what was heretofore thought to be impossible! A sober hash. A sober hash?! What? Yes, you read right. More difficult than The North Face! More fearsome than Cerebus! More challenging than staying sober at a hash! Wait…. So they trickled in and proclaimed the hash...

KH3#17 – Noah’s Dinghy Lark

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #17 Wednesday 10 February 2010 Start: Waverly and Mercer On-In: Josie Woods Hares: Noah’s Dinghy and US Marine Whore Scribe: Mickey Mouth Noah’s Dinghy LarkFrom WikipediaThe Free Encyclopedia For other references, see Knickerbocker H3, Chosen People Noah’s Dinghy Lark is the Hash that, according to the First Epistle of Mickey Mouth, advanced ordinary hashers to Chosen. The First Epistle of Mickey Mouth, chapters 4 and 5, tells how the hubris of Noah’s Dinghy tested the hashers in a monstrous storm. Noah’s Dinghy was a righteous man but in an act, a lark, tried to build a hash in the face of insuperable weather. The hashers survived this ordeal and were hence known as the Knickerbocker Chosen.  ContentsChild’s PoemNoah’s Dinghy Lark in Later Traditions                Pre-DownDown Tradition                Post-DownDown Tradition  Child’s PoemThe Lord said to Noah’s Dinghy there’s gonna be a galey galey Lord said to Noah’s Dinghy there’s gonna be a galey galey Get those hashers (clap!) out on the traily traily Hashers of New York The Lord said to Noah’s Dinghy you’re gonna set a hashy hashy Lord said to Noah’s Dinghy you’re gonna set a hashy hashy Set it in the (clap!) snow mashy mashy Hashers of New York The hashers, they came in they came in by twosies twosies hashers, they came in they came in by twosies twosies Hot Rods, Mean Jeans (clap) Wet Willy and Lesleys LesleysHashers of New York.  It snowed and snowed for near two daysies daysies Snowed and snowed for near two daisies daisies Hashers couldn’t find (clap!)The trail through the hazy hazyHashers of New York The Beer it flowed out and sated all...