KH3 #92: Tales of the Knickerbocker H3

October 7, 2015

Writeup by Krispy Kringle


And so a new season of the Knickerbocker H3 begins. Evening arrived with the promise of good times. Bonds were renewed and fellowships reforged as we gathered at Flight 151 at 18 Street and 8th Avenue. This tidy little establishment turned out to be the On-In as well. There was a sizable pack of about 30. What-a-Cunt directed us outside. And after a few words, we were off. South we ran. Then through the Village, migrating east to Washington Square Park. There we found the first Song Check. Skidmark led us in a chorus of “Roll Back Your Foreskin,” much to the delight of the park goers there. Then after some confusion, the trail headed south and then west.

The pack was stretching out separating into little groups. When the trail reached the Hudson we headed north along the coast. Then east and up onto the Highline, that magical park in the sky. We darted past nervous pedestrians. Until we found a second song check. A fellow practicing his cello accompanied a few of us in the classical rendition of “Ten Toes Down.” We continued north, until a Chicken-Eagle split spawned. The chicken happily went east to the drink check and the On-In.



The eagle went north. It exited the Highline to explore a small park which featured a running track and a false trail that circled it endlessly (a cruel trick by the Hare.) The trail then went west and back on to the Highline going north again. Finally exiting the HL and heading west to the river, turning south at the Hudson River Park. It left the park somewhere around 20th Street going east to the drink check and finally returning to the On-In. (An embarrassing admission here by your scribe, but I lost the trail at this point and never found the drink check.)


At the On-In, we crowded the regulars but were otherwise accepted with a mix of amusement. We began eating and drinking immediately. Pasta with sundried tomatoes and chicken wings were laid out. The pasta must have been very tasty because it was scarfed up and gone almost immediately. And after sampling, the wings were pronounced good and promptly devoured.

Then brandishing her scepter, What-a-Cunt opened Circle with “God Bless My Underpants.” Hare Geordi LaForeskin was promptly abused for his trail. Virgins Amanda, Andrew and Osgood were warmly welcomed and given their first down-down. Wet Lips was visiting from Istanbul with the virgin Osgood. But could not come up with a song.

More down-downs: Spank the Plank, Just Eli, Cosmopoli-tits, Skidmark for shenanigans at the drink check; Cheeky Bastard; Surprise I’m Illiterate; Geordi, again; Minor 69er for tangling with a cyclist; Doggie Erectus for playing in traffic. (As an aside, it is not always clear why down-downs are given, but that is the mystique of the Hash.)


Fast American Dave was the FRB and Topless Barbie was DFL, they took their down-downs together.

Virgins Amanda and Andrew were given another down-down for witnessing something on trail. Several down-downs later Doggie Erectus accused them of the same offense. Doggie was given a down-down for lacking any short-term memory.

Super Dave made a random abuse of power and singled out Just James.

CPA was in attendance but was otherwise oblivious to everything as both the Chicago Cubs and Chicago Blackhawks were playing. Somehow he escaped any abuse for this.

After announcements, What-a-Cunt modeled the Knickerbocker sweat shirt. Circle was then concluded, as is our custom, with a singing of Swing Low.

Hash Attendees:

  1. Geordi LaForeskin
  2. What-a-Cunt
  3. Mouthful of Guu
  4. Mandatory Fun
  5. Cheeky Bastard
  6. Fast American Dave
  7. A Little Dirty
  8. Coneylingus
  9. Surprise I’m Illiterate
  10. Minor 69er
  11. CPA
  12. Doggie Erectus
  13. Amanda (Trips and Balls?)
  14. Skidmark
  15. Spank the Plank
  16. Jeff K. (Hash Name?)
  17. Just Rachel
  18. Just Eli
  19. Just James
  20. Dave M. (Hash Name?)
  21. Duck Bill Cookie Puss
  22. Topless Barbie
  23. Cosmopoli-tits
  24. Patrick (Hash Name?)
  25. Metrosweatual
  26. Turd Dimension
  27. V1: Amanda
  28. V2: Andrew
  29. V3: Osgood (from Istanbul)
  30. Visitor: Wet Lips (from Istanbul)
  31. Krispy Kringle