Wednesday June 6, 2012
NYCH3 # 1484
Start 96th & Broadway
On In : Pat Ryan’s
Wednesday was Devo’s Famous Annual UWS summertime hash. You can always count on these hashes to deliver a few things – unexpected shiggy, a little uptown hoodness, On-in at Pat Ryan’s, and Devo’s feartfelt farewell to the city and it’s hash. Yes, despite promising to move far far away at the end of last summer, he’s still kicking around, though he does expect to be gone sometime this year. So if you missed out, tough shit. Looks like you’ll have to wait for next summer.
Pack started at 96th and Broadway, then headed west into Riverside park. A check sent those following trail down a hill and through a few games of soccer, volleyball and basketball, while the rest of the pack followed the wide open running trail 10 yards off to the side. It’s a narrow park is what I’m getting at. A quick blast through Columbia’s campus and down through the Theological Seminary and Sakura park we found ourselves at the chicken eagle split. Can’t speak to the chicken, but the eagle involved a lot of slick mud hills, waist high grass, and thorn bushes. After passing through one of NYC’s remaining shiggy sanctuaries, we got dragged up and down the hills that make up west Manhattan north of 130th, through City College’s campus (pausing briefly to get boned by a back check at the bottom of a long stairwell), and then bombed down Broadway to the finish.
In keeping with the chrono-loop theme of the trail, zero new faces showed up, although we did have a ton of visitors.
Deisgner Stud and Sad Bastard from Jacksonville(?) Half Pint from London, Nuttin stuck, hat first, and barbie’s bitch, who I don’t recall where they’re from, except one was from Nashville. NYC gets a pretty bad rap with our meagre songbook, but when pressed this hash microcosm came up with nothing but songs even NYC is sick of. I think the Music City guy pulled out a fresh one.
Down-downs were given out Pimpy for his mud-hill buttslide skidmark, to Skidmark for farting (makes sense), and scaring Dogface (He’s also been given down-downs for "making women cry" – I think we’re just going to have to accept this hideous mutant for what he is, or else devote a standing down-down to him), Fast American Dave for taunting the normals (even though I drank for FRB – suck it Dave!), which brought on a Gstanzl (google it) from Gretel set to "Edelweiss" – you know, the one song from that movie everyone’s seen, and knows every song from by heart, except that one cause it’s a snooze? Anyway, I think he actually had some good lyrics, but I can’t be sure because of the powerful soporific effects of the tune. It’s actually what they play at slaughterhouses to make the livestock more docile. Gretel was right back up for describing his forthcoming spawn as "still unborn, which I guess is better than still born"
Just Paul and Dirty Udders got one for dropping trou where the kids can see, Devo, Skidmark and Tickets all drank for blood on trail, Tickets for having too much sex at work (humblebrag!), and Skidmark ended the night with a false accusation down-down (Gabe The Babe, when asked if he’d ever motorboated a nun: "I can’t swim") That’s it, good night god bless.
Don’t get drunk and fight each other,