BH3 #574, July 4th
Start: Cherry Tree
On-In: Rocky Sullivan’s
Hares: Death Breast and Nads on Film
It was a hot and humid afternoon in Park Slope as the pack gathered at Cherry Tree to celebrate the most American of holidays by running in stupid heat for beer. That’s right people, I’m talking about the birth of Koko, the gorilla that can sign over 1000 signs based on the American Sign Language. Some people chose to celebrate the occasion by drinking vodka mixed with orange juice, a favorite treat of gorillas in captivity. Others took part in the gorilla activity of syncing up their GPS watches.
The pack took off through the rough and tumble streets of Park Slope, Brooklyn. We made a quick jaunt to Grand Army Plaza before shooting west, over the Gowanus, and into Red Hook. The sun was a constant pain for the pack as it seems the hares invariably chose to mark the side of the street without any shade. After four torturous miles, the pack finally on-in’ed at Rocky Sullivan’s where we got to enjoy even more sun from the rooftop deck out back.
The down-downs are such:
- The hares! Death Breast and Nads on Film (who left and was played by Barnacle) had nothing better to do on this day than to set a trail in the sweltering heat.
- Visitor Metawhorical Sunshine from the Tampa Jolly Roger hash.
- Ding! drank for his bike, which made unwelcomed (or welcomed?) advances on Headlights and almost got to third base.
- Drippy Sac for FRBing just three weeks after haring the Crippled Hare hash. Welcome back r*cist.
- Milf & Cookies for jumping over a pissing bitch that “got in her way”.
- Ed Lunch for not being able to find the start of the Memorial Day hash despite the map that was provided, and ended up just walking around.
- Just Josh and Just Dave for ambiguously gaying it up by taking off their shirts and stretching together at various points of the trail.
- Happy fucking birthday to Technically Foul, Speedo Gonzales, and Just Basia.
- Just Jaime for thinking this was apparently a southern ball of some sort and changing into a full length dress.
- Dogface for being British on this most American of days. This is Ourmerica and not Theirmerica.
- Skidmark (aka Just Josh) for bitching about no one knowing his hash name, like it’s our fault.
The beer flowed and pizza was served. A few people (myself included) stayed at the Red Hook bar well after hash cash had ended, and got to watch the majesty of the fireworks from the LCD TVs downstairs in the bar. We left around 11pm with beer in our bellies and thoughts of “how the fuck am I going to get out of Red Hook” in our heads.
On-out,
Canine Fixation