KH3 #29 and 30 – Unamusing

Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #29
Wednesday 5 January 2011
Start: 28th and 7th
On-In: Whiskey River
Hares: MILF n’ Cookies and Copa Cum Bloody
Scribe: Mickey Mouth


Inspiration dumped me like Fresh Kills on a hot steamyday. No explanation, no note, not even a text. Typical, huh. Inspiration walkedout the door for a quick trip to pick up a pack a’ smokes and inspiration neverreturned. Ah well, a new year, a new start. This is a special double issuewrite-up because, well, I just told you. Inspiration left. It’s as empty as aparking lot after closing time…


So, let’s begin, Part 1: On 5 January, 2011, bundled uphashers converged on 28th and 7th for KH3 #29. MILF n’Cookies and Copa Cum Bloody were the stars of the show that night. They setthem off north. There were so many bags we needed two taxis. And both thehashers and the bags were off to Whiskey River on 30th-ish andsecond.

The run was good. The bar was good. The beer was good.Urg. That’s the best I got? What is wrong with me. No joke? No Pun? Urg.


My notes. My notes too are a mess. And I wasn’t evendrinking! Here are some quotes:

“Should I go take a piss now?” said Punk Ass Bitch. Isthat funny? What is funny about that?

“You’re not a mistress if you’re not married,“ saidNicole. Now that is kinda funny.

There are some notes about flimflam and that MF can’tplay the bugle. I don’t understand that one.  

There was a whole story about how Pimpy Long Stockings,Cheeky Bastard and Fireman Tim all “took a short cut” through Chelsea. Now, Ican even work with that in my present condition. For example, I could use thefact that 3 guys went all alone to a neighborhood known to attract, um, whatdid Seinfeld say, people that can vacuum? Or I could play on the word Chelsea,as in Chelsea Clinton as in 3 hot to trot young studs played around in Chelsea.Hmm. There is potential.

Now we come to the downdowns. To the hares of course. And there was a virginJeff. A little Dirty and Pimpy L went slipping and sliding. I am Cum Stainthought he was rather clever when he said that A Little Dirty encountered alittle slippery. But I don’t see anything to laugh at there. Kinda stupidreally. Pimpy L, Fireman Tim and Devo took the Jack Rabbit Trail. Katie andIvory Dickler paid hash cash in one dollar bills. As in what you pay forstrippers, get it? I am Cum Stain for bringing a horn and Type A Hole also forthe horn.


That’s really all I got. Now for…


Part 2:


Knickerbocker Hash House Harriers #30
Wednesday 19 January 2011
Start: Washington Square Park
On-In: Flannery’s
Hares: Pimpy Long Stocking
Scribe: Mickey Mouth



Pimpy Longstocking tuned 30 years old. So it’s fitting hewould hare KH3 #30. See the parallel there folks? He had us all meet under the archat Washington Square Park. I am not sure of the significance of this monumentbut whatever. He was setting a live trail!! That is awesome. Well done, Pimps!The hashers were off and the bags made the way to Flannery’s at 14thand 7th. Most people agree with this phrasing about the run “it waslonger than it needed to be”. There was also an accusation of the hare puttingdown pack marks. That is a well known live hare trick.

Unveiled at this hash were the awesome new KH3 hashshirts! These are super super cool shirts and if you haven’t purchased one. Geton it! One thing I will say about the on-in. The toilet paper was super softand that is always appreciated.

The quotes that I have from this hash are:

“Eager4Beaver, what do you think?”

“they’re nice”

“and what do you think of the t-shirts?” This exchangewas actually very funny. See, originally Mean Jean was talking about the newKH3 t-shirt she was wearing. When Tim said “they’re nice” he was referring tothe t-shirts. But Mean Jean turned it around as a compliment to her breasts.Not that her breasts aren’t nice, but I am just explaining the joke.

“Talking of bone hard orgasms,” said Smashmouth. Yes, youread that correctly, Smashmouth said that.

Downdowns started:

Hare- only Pimpy L had to drink but He relied on a bunchother nameless hashers to help him. Just saying.  Although it was Pimpy L’s birthday week. Itwas Ivory Dickler’s actually birthday. Virgins Kara and Tim. Just Mike thoughtchecks were called the circle of doom. Just Mike was also stupid enough toleave his hat on. And no, I don’t mean it like the song.

Tit Totaler and Crawaholic left early so they could catchand de-pants Pimps. Sticky Fingers (I thought they said stinky but I wascorrected) kicked a dog. Splat and Noah’s Dinghy ran into eachother. And therandom abuse of power went to Smashmouth for all his bitching and moaning. Notabout the orgasms though.


So that’s the special double edition. I will be puttingout a want-ad in the paper something like this:

Wanted: a Muse.