Tour de Brooklyn #7
July 26, 2010
Start: E 16th st & Kings Highway
Hare: Trader Blows
Scribe: Two Buck F*ck
This leg of Tour De Brooklyn started somewhere unknown (East 15th St and Kings Highway), accessible only by some obscure mode of transportation (Q train), surrounded mostly by indigenous natives speaking their unpronounceable no-vowel language (Russians).
Today’s agenda: 1) Fill up with Pierogi at Cafe Obzhora 2) Stop by Brooklyn College for no good reason 3) Spot a horse
Ready, set, On On!
Obzhora is out of pierogi. The locals must have finished off the last kapusta batch. Maybe kartoshka? Niet? Do svidanya!
Traffic-dodging time. The intersection of Kings Highway, Avenue P, and East 21st Street is not for the impatient adrenaline-filled hasher who was just denied his rightful pierogi. Could this be the reason why the neighborhood is called Gravesend? Well, it’s actually Grave’s End, not Grave Send, but for the impatient hasher it may well turn into the latter. Or at least into a down down. Right, Josh?
Onwards! Why are we going east? And what’s this Bedford Ave sign? Are we in Williamsburg? Enough with the questions! Yes, this IS the same Bedford Ave that you’ve come to know and love, but unless you’ve had one too many PBRs and decided to ride your fixed gear bike as far down Bedford as you can go, you really should have no reason to ponder.
Check off #2 on the agenda list. Why we had to go out of the way to r*n by Brooklyn College, only the hare knows.
Now for some zigzagging to the west. East 22nd Street, Dorchester Rd, Cortelyou Rd station crowd with "Is this a race or something?" Finally, Coney Island Ave.
Chicken/eagle split? Mhmmm… Ehhh… Eeeeehh… Meh! Chicken it is for all except maybe 3 race-ist overachievers. They ought to be forced to sniff piles of fragrant horse manure in scorching summer heat. Which they gladly did. Thanks, Kensington Stables! Check off #3.
The on-in, of course, was Shenanigan’s. We proceeded to extradite the 2 regulars that were quitely floating in their beer mugs, and took over the grounds.
Hare: Trader Blows (or Two Buck F*ck?.. I can’t tell those two apart).
Visitors: Melissa from Atlanta, Sawa from Tokyo.
Sawa-san: Hat in circle.
Type A-Hole: For spotting a horse on trail, but mistaking it for 2 guys stretching.
Josh: Bumper check in Gravesend.
Hare: For doing a chicken/eagle split 2 blocks from the on-in.
Baboon Ass: For missing the subway stop and going all the way to Sheepshead Bay
Canine Fixation: For violating the court order that prohibits him from solving checks. And then complaining that he’s "not even supposed to be checking."
Doggie Erectus, Josh, Cheeky Bastard and Robbie: ditched socializing with others for Wii bowling.
Whore Master: Who wears short shorts?
Astro Glider: For showing up randomly to the on-in. If you have the time to r*n into the hash at the on-in, you probably have the time to r*n the trail.
Two Buck F*ck (or Trader Blows?.. I really can’t tell them apart).