BH3 # 514
May 17, 2010
Start: Double Windsor
Hare: Lil’ Dirty
On-In: Toby’s Public House
Scribe: Just Erin
Pre-Lube took place the lovely Double Windsor. As 7:15 rolled around the hare, Lil’ Dirty, began to panic as the realization dawned on her that she was supposed to be starting this thing but that she had in fact, just ordered a pint. The JM waved to her to "just relax and finish your beer," as he had a nearly full pint glass himself. Yes folks, this is the leadership whose hands we were in. Their priorities were clear.
As we gathered to start the trail the hare warned us that there would be several arrows for the stoop sales and that we must not follow these, but the WHITE trail marks. She also mentioned that there would be a LITTLE flour on trail. These words proved to be very excellent foreshadowing for the confusion about to ensue. The final words of warning proved most foreboding as she described the chicken/eagle split and requested that we not mark the chicken path. She also mentioned that there would be a substantial difference between the two with the chicken being 3.25 miles and the eagle being 5.25 miles.
Then we were off. Soon we found ourselves in Prospect Park. This is where we discovered that when Lil’ Dirty said a little flour she wasn’t kidding. It was so little it could not be discriminated from the average gum wrapper or other random litter strewn around the park. Still we managed to find our way through. There was bit of an awkward moment as we cruised straight through the middle of a camp of an startled and uncomfortable looking homeless people.
Then came the fiasco of the Chicken & Eagle split. With the promise of two extra miles a large group set off on the eagle trail. We were barely a quarter of a mile into it when we came to the first check. R*nners went off in all directions but no one returned with the right direction. After much head scratching it was finally decided that the only way we would be able to get to our delicious beer was to go back and do the chicken. Several people wondered if this would make us double chickens. Barnacle appropriately marked the Eagle split with a huge FAIL.
The chicken may have been short but it was mostly uphill. So the "unmanned" beer check at the top of the hill was a welcome break. There we found a styrofoam cooler of coors light complete with recycling instructions written on the top. It was decided this was perfect mid-r*n hydration beverage seeing as it is mostly water anyway. Several of us considered putting it in our fuel belts for our next long r*ns.
A quick downhill jaunt later and we were at the on-in.
- Hare: Lil’ Dirty received her first for setting an Eagle Chicken split with no apparent Eagle trail.
- Hare: Her second down down came for making her flour marks "a little too precious."
- Visiter/Civilian: An honorary down down was given the notorious sounding "L-Train" who knew both the hare and FMIG
- Virgins: There was only one virgin named Ben, who did not have the decency to stay for the circle. In his defense, he had no idea what he was getting himself into as he was an innocent bystander at the Double Windsor. Therefore, Pizza Slut got the down down for "picking up virgins in a bar."
- Drag Hag: received the "Splat" award for taking a spectacular spill in the woods of Prospect Park. I had the fortune of being right behind her and can verify the girl really went all the way down.
- Technically Foul: managed to join us at the on-in despite running hundreds of miles, finishing her finals and not sleeping for something like 72 hours straight. That was definitely deserving of a down down. I believe she went home and promptly went into a coma.
- Baboon Ass: For ignoring warnings not to follow the stoop sale arrows and then actually checking out some of the merchandise on trail.
- Fluffy: For being a little too comfortable in the homeless encampment we ran through on trail.
- Pizza Slut: Was brought up for another down down for his short-comings making pack marks. After finding the on-ons at a check, did he go back and mark the correct path for the rest of the pack? Nope, it wasn’t until he was long gone at the third mark that he made bothered making a pack mark.
- Trips N’ Balls: Was brought up for a birthday down down.
- Facial Discrimination: Was given a down down for the horrendous sin of bringing a hoard of starving runners delicious cookies. I sampled more than my share and they were the undoing of the healthy diet I had been trying to perpetuate. Well, that and all the beer and pizza… but never mind.
- Legal in Some States & Eager 4 Beaver: DFL
- Dogface: for finally learning to use the hareraiser
- Fluffy & Nipsicle: Were also brought up for birthday down downs. We were certain Fluffy had finally lost his last marbles when it took the entire circle shouting his name to rouse his attention. At that point he proceeded to wander off in the opposite direction of the down downs. Although, it turned out there was method to the madness he would not communicate verbally as he came back with the cheese cake he brought for his own birthday.
- Glogmaster: Received a down down for his racist attire
The on-in came complete with brick oven pizza and an unusual selection of micro-brews. Between the cookies and cheesecake provided by Facial Discrimination and Fluffy there was above average sugar content at this Hash. Overall a good time was had by all.