The Truth
Official Organ of the Greater Gotham Full Moon
Hash House Harriers
G2FMH3 Hash #208 – Friday, April 18, 2008
Hares: Fluffy Lockerman w/ help from Joyce
Start: Junior’s Cheesecake, DeKalb Ave in Bklyn
On-In: Hank’s Saloon, Atlantic and 3rd in Bklyn
Scribe: Just Lauren
Such a beautiful day for a hash. But good grief Charlie Brown, why did I have to spend an hour cooped up on the subway to go all the way to Brooklyn?! It seems somehow the Fluffster convinced the GGFM committee that Brooklyn is the land of milk and honey and we should just shut up and let him do what he wants. That’s pretty much how it went.
So we’re in Brooklyn, we’re waiting outside Junior’s Cheesecake shop, Norma’s napping against the building like a bum, Lexi’s snapping at passersby anxious to get going. Fluffy and Joyce eventually arrive and send us off with the promise of free bbq at the on-in! Now since my geographical knowledge of Brooklyn is extremely limited the only parts of the trail I recognized were hash related. We trounced through Fort Greene Park, we solved about 2 million checks, and we definitely passed dangerously close to Mooney’s only to be let down. Finally we arrived at Hank’s Saloon and the real fun began.
Lexi’s bitch proceeded to load up a grill with lighter fluid and send flames shooting several feet into the air. Fireman Tim quickly stepped in to ensure that nobody was injured and we didn’t light our on-in on fire. The bar was a little grungy. That’s grungy as in dirty, not the 80s fashion trend. And now courtesy of Lexi’s bitch and Fluffy it was full of charcoal smoke. But, we managed to fit in just fine with the two regulars and the “live band” members that were setting up to play later in the evening.
So you know how hot dogs come in packs of 10, but the stupid buns are in packs of 8? I personally think it’s a conspiracy set up by the meat and baking industries to keep us all constantly purchasing dogs and their buns to use up the extras. However Oscar Mayer says that of the 50,000 or so consumer letters they get each year, only 10 or 15 complain about the hot dog/bun mismatch. Well leave it to Fluffy to completely bypass this conundrum by feeding us burnt hotdogs on hamburger buns! I’m sure they were delicious (see down-downs), but I stuck with the chips and salsa so I cannot personally attest to their deliciousness.
US Marine Whore and Norma gave out a rash of down-downs
–Hares: Fluffy and Joyce got to drink some delicious PBR (that I assure you was delicious)
–Fluffy again for forgetting to set the hotline
–A virgin, but he ditched out before the circle so someone else had his
–Lunch because he ate a hotdog dropped on the ground. Ironically there were tons of hotdogs leftover so Lunch probably could have let that soldier die.
–Fireman Tim for flashing his pass to use bathroom at a nearby firehouse on trail, there were shouts of “name him Mr. Poopsalot!”
–Some newbie guy who offered to bag hag… he gave Tit-totaller and Fire in the Pie Hole “directions” to the trail which turned out to be merely one of his favorite running loops
–Tit-totaller and Fire in the Pie Hole because they were (assumedly now they did indeed go through with it) only 8 days away from becoming husband and wife
–Lunch, Heather, and Marybeth for playing frogger w/ cars or something like that
and finally — Heather was presented with a yummy chocolate cheesecake (thanks to the convenient start location!) from MaryBeth and a resounding “Happy Birthday Fuck You” from the rest of us.
All in all (incidentally, “all in all” is how I’ve concluded all my term papers since the 4th grade, feel free to use it yourself) it was a fun night and the PBRs kept us partying until the cows came home. What?
On-out
Lauren