August 1, 2007
Hare: Rich K.
Start: 86th and Park
On In: Bourbon Street (79th and Amsterdam)
Shiggy…did someone say shiggy?
With the nice non-threatening weather, another big turnout showed up on the Upper East Side to see what Rich K. had in store for the day. The start was deceptively normal, with the trail starting off northward to the first check, which as usual threw most of the pack off. The few of us who guessed it would go into Central Park were correct, with the teeming hordes sheepishly following along Fifth Avenue to the second check…the checks were plentiful on this particular hash. Anyway, the trail soon delved into the inner reaches of the park, but little did we know how shiggarific the trail would soon be. Oh Sh*t (on his last NYC hash before leaving) led a doughty pack of FRBs around the northern-ish bits of the park, getting more and more off-road. At one point this FRB pack dissolved at what turned out to be the start of at least 3 switchbacks up a rather steep (and trackless) forested hill. After seemingly endless turns and twists, yours truly saw a very strange sight…while yelling ‘on-on’, looking down you could see nearly the entire pack through the trees, looking up in amazement, then making a charge for the top of the hill. It reminded me of a reenactment of a Civil War charge…kind of. After this uber-shiggy, the trail continued its meandering, eventually leading to Rich attending a beer check. After imbibing tasty beverages, the pack then did the usual bit west out of the park, around the Museum of Natural History, and over to Amsterdam, where the on-in was the quintessential dive, Bourbon Street, which by the way was featured in a recent New York Times article on dive bars…
When the circle gathered, first a celebratory down-down was given to for the recent engagement (Just Say No!) of Andrew and Mary. Next came the standard beer for the hare, though few complaints could be heard. Rich had to drink again though, for getting hassled by the fuzz while setting trail (better that than at the beer check). Then Rich had to drink once more, for the news that him and Mrs. K are expecting twins. And why stop there…the fourth down-down was for forgetting to set the hotline. Anyway, the hare was finally cast out of the circle, and beer was given to other fine hashers. The visitors were next: Captain Hollywood from London, Thanks For The Mammaries from Orlando, and Dickus Minimus from LA. These lucky visitors also received lovely NYCH3 keychains (cue applause). The virgins were next…it being a sunny summer Wednesday, there were too many to count. Next up were Sandy and some unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your perspective) soul whose name is too poorly written in my notes to be identified, who had to drink out of their shiny new shoes. Oh Sh*t was brought up for his last (really) hash before leaving town, FMIG clearly enraptured over said event. Lastly, AOTW went to virgin Arthur for flagrant disrespect of hash elders. It turns out said virgin encountered DBB on trail at a (only slightly) mysterious junction where FRB’s wisely pack-marked a shortcut in direct opposition to a clear hash mark. When DBB inquired about said markings to Arthur, Arthur responded “well they’re hash marks, you see…”.
With 50¢ cans of Coors Light from 9 to 11, you can guess that hash cash lasted a while. At least I’ll guess, since I didn’t stay that long. I did stay long enough to overhear (barely) DBB shouting “I think I’ve died and gone to hell!”…perhaps also alluding to the cheap beer, but primarily referring to the amazing volume of the Green Day song playing at that moment. Clearly Bourbon Street has amplifiers that go to eleven.