June 13, 2007
HARES: Virgin Hare Jonah & Doggy Style
Start: Columbus Circle
On In: Yogi’s (75th and Broadway)
A virgin hare on a summer Wednesday with 50+ hashers? Oh no, this could be trouble…but look there! Is it a bird? A plane? No, it’s Doggy Style c*ming to the rescue with a madly cheap on-in, despite the weirdo Steely Dan fans…
After a longish wait at Columbus Circle, Doggy Style finally barked out the chalk talk, and the pack was off eastward. Yours truly helped get bags into a cab, which was doubly remarkable for the speed at which D.S. found said cab, as well as how few bags there were for 50+ hashers. After only a few minutes I got to follow on the trail, which means I can only report trail infractions via hearsay. But really, with a hash name like mine do you expect me to remember anything myself?
The trail was fairly straightforward, at first leading us through the southern bits of the park, including past a very competitive (i.e. players screaming at the ref) kickball game. After more of this the trail ended up out at the west side, where after a little more meandering back and forth across avenue and street ended up at that distinguished Upper West Side establishment on Broadway, Yogi’s.
The place was crazy packed when we got in, to the point of needing elbows to get to the back to water and our bags. It turns out there was a concert nearby, more on that later. Those of you recalling AGM weekend might also remember this location as the infamous missing bar on the pub crawl….the one where Lauren got thrown out of before the pack could arrive, if I remember correctly.
After some initial socializing, the circle began. Down-downs first to the hares, of course. Then came the virgins, I’d guess about ten or so. One actually had the guts to drink from his new shoes. That’s the spirit! Next were a couple visitors, Furry Face from Birmingham, AL, and a Bostonite (sorry I forgot your name) who sang an insanely long hash song, which had two versions (she sang the gay version). Then up was Will, for not being able to wait until September and wearing a very red tutu sort of thingy, plus new shoes to boot. It wasn’t announced in the circle, but after further investigation this scribe discovered that it was part of a bet. Word was that FMIG offered to pay Will’s hash cash if he’d r*n in a tutu. Look out FMIG, or you’ll have Lunch showing up every week trying to get a free pass!!
Next for a down-down or three was yours truly, who after a two week hiatus had some infractions to catch up on. Number one was for boldly stealing food from right under Lunch’s nose (completely unbeknownst to Lunch!!). Number two was for picking up a deceased rodent at an earlier hash. Hey, what’s the big deal…it’s not like anybody dies from plague anymore. Okay, I guess a couple people do, but…okay, I’ll just stop trying defend myself now. After my third down-down (a birthday shot ‘o beer), Jumpin’ Jack Gash was up for trying to pick a fight with a crazy guy apparently ranting to the hashers waiting at a check in the Park. Next was Mean Jean for her unabashedly racist ways. Also up was Anna, for carrying packing chalk but not using it.
As the circle ended, we noticed that the bar had become very empty. It turns out that the concert up the street had started, and all those 50-something dudes in there had gone to see it. Concert was by Steely Dan as alluded to earlier. After much more drinking (Yogi’s is damn near as cheap as The Patriot, though it seems the buybacks are considerably less), we noticed the bar suddenly fill up again as said concert ended. Also seen late in the evening were Coors Light girls giving away beer (not to hashers, though) and little blinky lights. (Insert your own snarky comment here)