May 9, 2007
Start: The Charging Bull at Bowling Green
Hares: Oh Sh*t, Chris, Sandy
On-In: John Street Bar
What do you get when you have one experienced hare leading two virgin hares, except the virgins are left to their own devices? Well, besides eventually a lot of baby hares, you get a SHITTY TRAIL…
The start was downtown at the bull. Yours truly showed up about 5 minutes after the pack started, but in a sign of what was to come, after all of about 2 minutes into the trail, I suddenly saw the pack behind me. I thought that was weird, little did I know it would only get weirder and weirder. The trail, if you want to call it that, meandered through Battery Park City, through the World Financial Center building, then disappeared. It turns out that the pack, led by lots of newbies r*n and r*n and r*n past an elusive check, one of several on the trail, never mind that there were no marks. As the trail continued, it often came perilously close to itself, through another wing of the World Financial Center for instance. Yours truly managed to not fall into the trap, but as the trail progressed we in the pack noticed our numbers ever dwindling. After lots more wandering around lower Manhattan, we finally stumbled into the on-in, where the rest of the group had found earlier, unfortunately (or fortunately) missing large swaths of trail. At the time though, I felt that I had somehow entered some weirdo time warp, where the more lost you were, the quicker you found the trail (and less of it you r*n).
Part two of the woeful hash night was just beginning, however. Shortly after said last pack arrived, a few measly plates of bar appetizers (wings, jalapeno poppers, mozzarella sticks) appeared, and were immediately gobbled up by the ravenous crowd. Little did we know at the time that this would be all the food. Trailmaster Joe Pennsylvania gave some good trail advice for newbie hares after this one, but I’ll add some more regarding the on-in. Don’t bother with a bar that serves food unless you can get a really good deal (e.g. NYCH3 #1213), otherwise it’s likely not worth it.
Down-downs went accordingly:
– Hares, for their SHITTY TRAIL
– Assorted virgins, quite a few on this pleasant May evening
– Dr. Bruce for spying (or was it stepping on) a huge rat on trail through a particularly shiggyish alley
– AARPenis for not knowing how to help a virgin with the hotline (likely there were lots of other ways she could have helped, but still…)
– Smashmouth called for the head of the Trailmaster, making him drink for the hares transgressions. Both ended up getting down-downs
– Dr. Steve and Doggy Style for hitting on random strangers on trail while asking for a cellphone to call the hotline
– Two of the walkers for solving a check but not pack-marking it. If I may be so bold as to add commentary, the hare(s) should have to drink for this, how often do the walkers need to carry chalk on a trail of usual quality?
-AOTW was going to Oh Sh*t for being head hare of such a f*cked up mess, but at last minute when Joe Pennsylvania complained about Oh Sh*t soiling the plunger, the award when to Joe P instead
About five minutes after the circle ended, hash cash was announced out. However a few brave souls decided to not let it get to them, and continued to drink. Notably, Oh Sh*t did redeem himself by filling up the survivors glasses on regular occasions. Surprisingly it took hours for the final few to trickle out, much jollier than immediately after the circle…as usual.