September 13, 2006
First Annual Lisa Mikkelsen’s 39th Birthday Hash
Start: 72nd St. and Broadway
Hares: Mary and Lisa Mikkelsen
On-In: Bourbon St. (Amsterdam and 79th St.)
It was one of the chillier and cloudier nights in recent memory. Pants and even a coat were seen at the start. The trail started innocently enough as we dawdled through the streets of the upper west side before entering the park around 66th street and Central Park West.
From there I think there was a trail but I can’t be sure. The check before we entered the park got a chunk of the pack a little closer together and then another check subsequently confounded even some of the FRBs. At which point it was dark. Everyone felt sh*tty and just wanted to find the next friggin’ mark. But the fun had only just gotten started. Mary had either set the trail under direct sunlight at noon or used a flood lamp to get through the trees and rest of the greenery. She neglected to tell us to bring our flashlights. That or she forgot the sun sets at night and flour doesn’t glow in the dark. Also lucky for us she missed putting any marks she did make under actual lights in the park and instead we found trail by trial and error. Someone would run into a fence and realize that it wasn’t trail. At one point your allergic-to-uneven-terrain scribe needed Mark, the one with the hot body (NYCH3 Write-up #1171, Joe Pennsylvania, p. 2) to rescue her from the dark and scary tree-laden park. We exited near 86th St. on the west side to find some of the rest of the pack who had been delayed an incredibly long time by another check, possibly at 72nd street.
Of course once the hashers were welcomed at Bourbon St. with 50¢ PBR cans all was forgiven and we soon felt at home, despite a plethora of UWS yuppies trying to get their drink on.
Saying “hares” assumes there was some sort of “trail” but we saluted them nonetheless. Mary said she faced some blowjobus interruptus while setting trail. (More proof that a slower or drunker hasher r*nning her trail in the dark would have totally been safe) So dark was trail that we can’t be sure we didn’t r*n into any good times in the bushes either. Happy 39th Birthday for the first time to Lisa, who let Mary do all the work.
No visitors and only one virgin, Maria, was in attendance. We heard Devo had jury duty and packed his hash materials to take to court. As we all know the trail master is responsible for bringing the plunger to the hash each week. While scanning his bag the security noticed the plunger and determined it to be a weapon so he had to check it. Dr. Bruce made an appearance, totally stoned and on call. I guess working 100-hour work weeks leaves plenty of time for hash. We sang another round of Happy Birthday, this time to Steve.
Is it possible to win a hash? What if you starting cheering, “Yippee, yippee…I’m in the lead” while on trail? Are you then going to win something? Yes—our award for Assh*le of the Week, which went to Glenn for being a racist.
PBR got more expensive as the night went on ($1 after 11pm). And the Mets won again, in extra innings.