New York City Hash House Harriers #1135
|Date:||Nov 27, 2005|
|Start:||NW Corner of Madison Square Park|
|On-in:||Micky’s Blue Room (Avenue C and 11th St.)|
|Hare(s):||Cockstar and Jumpin Jack Gash|
|Scribes:||Lauren and Assglider, formerly known as Ken|
To ease the pain of their virgin scribing experience Ken will be handling the down-downs and Lauren will be dealing with the rest.
Lauren: I arrived late to the pre-lube at Deweys Flatiron after sprinting from the A at 8th Ave to find the bar still full of hashers—excellent! As it turns out this is where my good luck would end. The crowd leisurely strolled across to the corner of the park to start and it was apparent that the hares were in no rush to be rid of us. They babbled about difficult checks and how the FRBs should be charitable and take some chalk to help out the pack. They told us of a few speed checks and an unruly guard at a certain garden that may or may not let us pass through his domain. Then they finally let slip the reason for the long chalk talk, the late start, and what we would soon find to be a long and confusing trail.the bar doesnt open until 4:30!!
With this in mind we started out through Madison Square park still happy and hopeful for a good trail. Our first check shortly thereafter sent us a false avenue or two in each direction until we finally scored by going west. We ran down through a parking garage where the attendants got a hearty laugh at watching us crawl through a small opening (even I had to duck!) to get to the other side. We managed to reach 10th Ave without too much trouble and as I bent over to catch my breath at a red light, a particularly unscrupulous pedestrian had a comment or two about it (See Kens down-downs).
Then the pack got completely confused and splayed out by a check along the West Side Highway which took us forever to solve. After finding our way we followed true trail all through the meatpacking district and beyond. At some point here the trail literally vanished and the FRBs were forced to scatter in all directions to find where it magically reappeared a few streets over. Geoff said I think I was off trail more than I was on it, but we found it somehow. We then ran up Minetta St. where a bunch of hippies attempted to follow us and mock us with some kind of interpretive dance, but we werent having it and they were soon left behind. On we went to Washington Square Park where the checking began again. I dont have much to say beyond this because by now we were exhausted and a very thirsty Ed Lunch cajoled a certain someone (see down-downs) into telling us where the on-in was. Myself and several others (once we accidentally heard where it was) took off immediately east towards Avenue C where the on-in awaited us. FRBs Fast American Dave, Chad, and Drew showed up soon after covered in sweat and looking none too happy. I even saw FAD shoot a very uncharacteristic death glare in the direction of the hares as he reached for some water. And Chad treated us to a brief diatribe on checking and how hes going to stop doing it if others dont pick up the slack. Note to self: start checking more to avoid the wrath of Chad.
Assglider: 2 premium chicken ranch BLT sandwiches, a couple of large fries, some drinks, 2 apple pies and a side salad from McDonald’s: $15 tab
(not needing a free hand to swipe and sign: priceless)….
Oh wait, those aren’t my notes from the on-in. That’ll teach me to write notes on a newspaper ad while drinking. But either way, not needing triple bypass surgery after all that is what *I* call priceless.
Anyway, good bar for the on-in. We had our choice of any of the beers on tap plus the artwork on the walls was from Sami Yaffa, the bassist from Hanoi Rocks and currently the New York Dolls.
Did anyone know that Mastercard had an identical twin sister? I sure didn’t. Spooky is what I’d call it. If she got a hash name, I guess it would have to be Visa? But for Sunday’s hash purposes, she was called Kim 2, or sometimes even her real name–Kelly. But hey, Double your pleasure, double your fun, right?
As for the down-downs:
– What did everyone think of the trail? It sucked, of course! Some other comments were, “Where was it?”
– Margareta and Ciderman, for peeing at a construction sitegross on so many levels
– Eva, for calling the hotline and telling the pack where the on-in was. Somehow this also resulted in another down-down for the hares.
– Mastercard, Visa, Glenda, and Tracy, for going shopping on trail. Were not sure what they purchased, but they DID actually follow the whole trail and arrive after numerous beers were already disposed of.
– Chad, for giving a wet $20 bill for hash cash, saying, "I’m sorry it was wet; it was in my pants." What every girl wants to hear, indeed. Wet In The Pants was a suggested hash name for him.
– Lauren, for bending over, stretching, and some man saying, “Nice position, honey.” (She then treated the crowd to a repeat performance.)
– And the Asshole of the Week? The hares! Since there was only one plunger, Jumpin’ Jack Gash was the lucky recipient. Cockstar got the plastic chalice, and with arms entwined they finished their third down-down as a team.
Lauren: As a result of these numerous down-downs a drunk Kyle later entertained us with the story of his naming and showed us the scar to prove it—nice. Overall a good time was had and by the time the regulars started filtering in for open mic night we were all too wasted to care.