New Amsterdam Summer Sunday Hash
Run #15, May 17th 1998
Start: Metropolitan Ave, Queens, end of the M line. On In: Too thirsty to notice but right by the subway
Hare: Geoff Baldwin Scribe: Roy
Geoff comes from that school of thought that believes hashing should not be too simple. For example, why choose a start location that requires two trains to reach when you can choose one that takes three. At least it was good practice for the next end of the line run in Breezy Point. Eighteen of us managed to figure out how to get there. It took Jerome a bit longer to figure it out but he got there in the end. Apart from the usual assortment of hashers there was also a reporter and photographer from Fit magazine, whatever that is. Don¢t see the connection myself, especially when you look at the amount of time it took us to schlep ourselves round the trail. Beer Connoisseur magazine would have been more appropriate. Megan, the reporter, ran with us and the photographer kept appearing along the trail snapping away like mad. He also took numerous photos of arrows, checks and blobs of flour.
In this part of Queens you have two options for the trail. You can either go along the expressway or through cemeteries. Geoff chose a cemetery for the start of the trail. I¢m sure watching us lot charging around yelling on on was very uplifting for the mourners. At least he had the decency to wait until we had left the cemetery before setting the first check. Geoff had informed us at the start that there were no false trails. This can mean one of two things depending on which hashing school of thought you belong to. One school says this will make it a nice easy trail to follow because it will only take a few minutes to find the on trail. The other school believes that as it¢s one and you¢re on the first mark should not be within a half mile radius, preferably in an area with umpteen paths, crossroads etc. Needless to say Geoff belongs to the latter school. Fortunately, because he was taking the photographer around, he was kind of sweeping. Otherwise we¢d still be trying to work out the first check, even though we had Mike H checking on his bike.
The problem (or advantage if you are following the trail) of this approach is that when the trail goes in a loop you can inadvertently chop off part of the trail, which is precisely what we did. About a mile apparently. Thank God. It still took us one and a half hours to finish the trail.
After the cemetery and a stretch along some major thoroughfare we went into Forest Park and on to a chicken eagle split. The eagle was the best part of the trail, although only four of us opted for it. Jerome, Pierre, Miho and yours truly. Note for future hares. Forest Park – good hashing territory. When the chicken eagle joined again we assumed the end was near. No such luck. Still another half and hour and several more checks. We saved a group of chickens when the trails converged. Following his motto of why make it simple Geoff had put a check at this point. These chickens had picked up the eagle trail and were just about to embark on it backwards. Had we not happened along at that time they would still be running round in circles.
After ninety minutes of hard slog we made it back to the bar, run by a moron called Wally. Those of you who understand Britishisms will understand if I say he lived up to his name. The few customers also looked like they were the result of several generations of in breeding. Probably pretty common in this part of Queens. They made the mountain folk in Deliverance look quite normal. In recent weeks Geoff has had a weird effect on the bars he has chosen. It started in Queens the other week when we had to resort to something worse than Bud because the decent beer was off. Today¢s bar had New Amsterdam and Honey Brown. Great we thought. Both off, so it was Bud or Bud Ice.
Talking of Britishisms, whoever Geoff ordered the food from obviously didn¢t understand his accent. *We have a Hero coming*, Geoff informed us. Two hours later it was still coming shortly. When it came it looked suspiciously like four pizzas so it sat there congealing for fifteen minutes while Geoff remonstrated with Wally, holding his arms outstretched to demonstrate what he wanted and Wally being, well, a wally. Eventually Geoff accepted defeat and we ate the now cold pizza.
Down downs had been conducted some time before. Three virgin hashers, Megan, Jim, who came with Megan and someone with a weird name I can¢t remember (certainly wasn¢t Sue or Carol); Larry and Laura for new shoes, done in traditional style out of the shoes; one civilian, Ewa, who had been taking a Japanese class (the mind boggles). As Wally had now turned the juke box up to full volume I decided against any more down downs so it was a let off for Pierre who found the on trail on the eagle but omitted to come back and inform the rest of us. Jerome, thinking the NASS is some kind of democracy, then gave me a down down for getting a bit turned around at one check in the forest and yelling on on as I raced back the way we had just come.
Some of you have not had the good fortune to have met Sucks After Dark. He is an itinerant hasher who lives in his RV. He first showed up at Seth¢s and Rudi¢s washed out Greater Gotham run, then came to Ewa¢s washed out Queens run. He is a ¡real¢ hasher and does all the hash things we (thank God) don¢t do in New York. An example. He removed Petra¢s shoes and socks, poured beer over her toes and proceeded to suck them. Other hasherettes declined. Anyway if this is your idea of fun he is going to show us what a real hash is like when he is hare on July 12th.
All in all an excellent, though arguably long, hash in a part of Queens severely underused for hashing.