NAS2H3, 20th July 1997
Start: Willets Point / Shea Stadium
On In: Some bar in the middle of nowhere
Hare: Michael Hoffman Scribe: Roy Gilbert
A beautiful day and a small group of hashers awaited the arrival of the hare, including DB2 deigning to attend the NASH Hash for the first time. *I*ve come to witness the demise of the NASH Hash* he announced. Oh how easy it is to confuse quantity and quality. How can you begin to compare the quality of the stalwart hashers who are willing to leave the confines of Manhattan with the hordes of twenty year olds that turn up, usually once only, on Wednesday evenings?
Hare Michael eventually arrived. He*d had to call his sister for a lift because it had taken him so long to set the trail that it would have taken him ages to get back to the start by public transport. Ominous sign number one. *I need someone to sweep* proclaimed our hare. Ominous sign number two. Call me old fashioned but isn*t it the duty of the hare to sweep? Aren*t the rest of us meant to follow the trail? We suggested Alice as she normally occupies the sweeper*s position if not the role, but Geoff got the task instead.
*It*s not that the checks are that difficult, and there are only two false trails, it*s just that it*s a long way to the first mark in some cases* Michael explained. Ominous sign number three. This by the way is the same Michael who, on a city run last year, couldn*t understand why it took us so long to find the on trail after one check. *All you had to do was go two blocks west and three blocks north* was his explanation at the time. And yes the same Michael who arrived 30 minutes late as hare of a recent city hash to announce that the trail*s a bit fucked up. Five hashers out of forty found the trail that evening. I guess ominous sign number one was really the appearance of Michael*s name on the hash roster.
The final instruction was to the effect that there were two infinity checks, the purpose of which was to regroup. The first was outside a deli and we had to regroup so Geoff could buy us all some water, a transaction that, apparently, is beyond the capability of a lone hasher. The second regrouping was because we were about to enter some funky territory. Ominous sign number five.
The last run I did that started from Shea Stadium was set by Marie and Andi and it took 15 minutes. I had the distinct feeling that this would not be a repeat, especially as Michael, despondent about old age creeping up on him, is now doing heavy duty training for the marathon.
The trail headed into the park with the infrequent markings switching from one side of the wide path to the other and then came to an end by Grand Central Parkway. Much time was spent running hither and thither with no mark in sight. DB2 and I wondered if it continued on the other side of the Parkway so we legged it back a few hundred yards to the bridge and tried the other side. In vain. This was the last I saw of DB2 till the on in. Back to the last mark, no sign of anyone. From the bridge I thought I saw a hasher heading south so I did likewise. Several hundred yards along I saw what once may have been a flour mark. It still would have been a mark had it not been on a road with hundreds of cars an hour passing along. Encouraged, I continued and came across another couple of ex marks and found myself on trail again.
It was obvious that Michael, not content with being NYC asshole of the year, was also trying for worst run of the year on the NASS hash. Most of us have accepted that Alice already has this title well and truly locked up. Fortunately, despite several gaps in the trail, unmarked corners and being longer than Alice*s run, he didn*t come close to challenging her.
We regrouped at the water check and, after waiting some time for DB2, concluded he had probably phoned in so the rest of us continued and regrouped again at the start of the funky territory. The males formed a human shield around Alice to protect her from whatever evils awaited us. This lasted about thirty seconds until we realized that instead of crack heads and other low life the funky area was a small wilderness area where we followed a narrow trail through an area of dense foliage. This led to the final check which took forever to fathom out and also led to Alice being in pole position on the run in to the on in. We got to the bar in a shade under two hours.
As I was already late for getting back for a meeting down downs were conducted immediately. NASS virgins were hare Michael, DB2, Jeff and someone whose name I didn*t catch. Jeff got a second down down for getting tangled up in a kite as did Alice for picking a bouquet of flowers en route. Geoff and I got down downs for not getting a down down for anything else.
It looked like a good hash bar but I had to get back. *Which way*s the nearest subway Mike* I inquired. *It*s very easy, just go right for three blocks and you get the 44 bus to Flushing Main Street. Here*s a gold Metrocard so you can get all the way back to Manhattan for $1.50*. Fucking great. A bar near Flushing Main Street would also have allowed us to get back for $1.50. And in half the time.
I*ll leave the last quote to Alice. *Great run* she said. Was she on the same run as the rest of us?
Don*t miss the next NASS hash at Coney Island on August 3rd. Should be good fun; ocean views and borscht and pirogis at the on in. Vince and Aleks are the hares.